Brotherhood
by Oldest Soul
Summary: We are shaped by the world around us, by the people we meet, by the briefness of our lives. The Akatsuki certainly left their mark on Itachi, but whether for better or for worse he cannot say. After all, from the age of seventeen Good and Evil have walked hand in hand beside him.
1. Voices

A/N: this story will cover Itachi's thoughts and experiences from the time of the Uchiha slaughter until sometime midway through his Akatsuki career. My memory for details during this time is a little fuzzy, so I apologize in advance for small discrepancies that may occur between this story and the canon.

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Chapter One: Voices

"Nisan! Nisan!" His voice is small and squeaky, and his seven-year-old body a fitting size to match it as he clambers over my knees, squealing as I pick him up by the ankles and hang him upside down.

"What is it, Sasuke?" I ask while Sasuke swings himself in all directions, giggling with all the innocence of one who hasn't a care in the world.

"Nisan!" His face is turning red from the blood rushing to his head, so I turn him right side up again and he grins at me hopefully. "You promised you would teach me shuriken jutsu, remember!"

"I can't today, silly." I laugh, poking him lightly on the forehead. "You're getting ready to take the Academy Entrance Exam!"

His eyes light up. "You're coming to my induction ceremony, right?!" Sasuke asks for about the tenth time this morning, shuriken jutsu forgotten. "It's on –"

"The fourteenth of August, I know." I finish for him, "Of course I'm coming. I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"Unless," A new voice intrudes. It is my father's, deep and ever so much like roiling water, sometimes soft and calm, and other times angry and powerful. "You receive a mission."

"There are plenty of Anbu available, Father." I remind him quietly, respectfully. "I am sure that they would be able to afford sending someone else so that I could go to the ceremony."

Although Father's mouth is naturally drawn down at the edges, you can tell when he's frowning because his brow furrows and the corners of his mouth fall even farther. He frowns at me now and says sternly, "Duty comes first, Itachi. Always remember that."

"Yes, Father."

Later that night I am passing by my parents' room on feet more silent than a cat's. I don't want to wake Sasuke on my journey to the kitchen for a glass of water, and I know exactly which creaky floorboards to avoid. Through the thin walls and the crack underneath the door, I hear that deep and roiling voice again speaking in low tones.

"It's becoming a threat, Mikoto. And they're not going to stop at just confining us to a corner of the village. Uchiha Madara was right, I can feel it. The Senju will conspire to drive us out of the village – I wouldn't bet on the Hokage stopping them either."

I pause to hear my mother's reply, a whisper in her soft lilt that I can barely make out. "Perhaps if you give it a while, everything will settle down."

"We've tried giving it a while." Father reminds her, "And things have only gotten worse. Something must be done. And as the head of this clan, by god I'll get it done or die trying."

"Shh," Mother whispers gently, "Rest now, get some sleep."

"A plague on those Senju bastards." Father curses as he settles down, grumbling. "What has this village come to?"

….

"Do your parents talk about it too?" Shisui asks, "When they think they're alone?"

I nod uneasily, watching several leaves float to the ground. Some trees are starting to lose their leaves, though it's not autumn yet and the days are still hot in Konoha. "Late at night, when Sasuke's asleep." I sigh through my nose and shake my head slightly. "He's too young to get caught up in this."

It's been a two weeks since I overheard Mother and Father talking that night, and since then, Father's made up his mind. He's gotten most of the clan to make up their minds as well – believing the Senju must rule Konoha no longer. They want a coup d'état.

In other words, destruction.

Shisui catches one of the leaves mid-flight, twirls it around once between his fingers, and lets it go. We both watch it flutter away like a small green butterfly, as though the breeze is breathing life into that small piece of oak. "You know, I've been thinking." He says thoughtfully when the leaf completes its journey and glides into the grass.

"Do you have a plan?" My stomach leaps with excitement. We've been racking our brains for a way to stop the coup, fruitlessly so far. I've tried talking to father about this, tried to dissuade him from such a dangerous course, but he won't hear of it. Even Mother, my sweet, gentle mother hesitates to put in a word on my behalf; she too has had enough of the cold hatred and distrust we have put up with for years. Every Uchiha knows that our clan had nothing to do with the Kyuubi attack except to fight against the monster, but the other villagers are bound and determined to believe every shred of bad gossip they hear about us, and the Uchiha have reached their breaking point.

"Well I was thinking," Shisui replied slowly, "If I could . . . if I could use Kotoamatsukami on everyone, maybe I could convince them to negotiate with the Hokage instead of overthrowing him."

"You're serious?" I ask incredulously, probably louder than I meant to. "Shisui, if you use Kotoamatsukami on the entire clan . . . the amount of chakra that would take, and the long-term effects . . . you could go blind!" I can't believe he'd be _physically able_ to do that, to use such a powerful jutsu on so many people at once.

"I don't know if I can get everyone." He acknowledges seriously, "But I've got to try. Unless you have a better idea?"

"You don't have to genjutsu everyone." I realize, beginning to accept this plan since I _don't_ have a better idea, "Only the important people. Look, Father's calling a meeting on Thursday – they're going to set the date of the attack, and all the Uchiha officials will be there. Convince the _officials_ that it's all a bad idea, and the rest of the clan will follow soon enough."

"Can you get me within the range of them to enable Kotoamatsukami?" He wonders aloud, "They're going to be suspicious if two teenagers show up in the middle of an important meeting."

"They trust us." I remind him, "And as far as they know, we've no reason to be . . . disloyal."

Because as much as I try to tell myself that I have everyone's best interests at heart, the fact remains that conspiring against your entire clan is disloyalty, no matter how you look at it. Shisui and I have an unspoken agreement that we'll come to terms with this, and if saving the village from internal war makes us unworthy shinobi scum . . . then so be it.

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A/N: hope you enjoyed this first chapter. feedback and constructive criticism always appreciated - please review!


	2. Staring

Chapter Two: Staring

The chunin who stand guard at the divide between the Uchiha sector and the rest of the village all follow me with watchful eyes as I approach one of them.

"D'you have a pass?" the man asks, removing the cigarette from between his teeth and purposefully blowing the smoke in my direction.

I hold out my slip of paper to him and he snatches it from me, passing his eyes over it and muttering to himself. When he gets to the bottom, he pauses to raise an eyebrow. "Is states your purpose as checking in at Anbu headquarters. A little snot like you in Anbu? Sounds suspicious."

I bite my tongue to keep from telling him that I'm seventeen – there are Anbu far younger than I in the organization.

The chunin at a post to his right turns to us. "Enough out of you, Watanabe." She reprimands, glancing at me, "That's Uchiha Fugaku's son – he _is_ Anbu. Let him through – he gave you the paper."

Watanabe watches me for a moment longer, probably waiting for me to stab him out of the blue, before dropping the cigarette to the pavement and grinding it with his heel as he waves me through.

It's hard to avoid attention on the street. Many people mutter as I pass, pointing to the prominent clan symbol on the back of my shirt. Others send cold looks my way and others still a rude jeer or two. I ignore all and continue on my way, determined to accomplish my own personal mission of delivering the information on the coup's planning to the Hokage.

Among the various villagers and shinobi on the Konoha streets, there is one that sticks out time and time again. I do not know his name, nor his status, nor the village from which he hails, but I do know this: with his single-eyed mask and long, dark hair, I feel nothing but an ominous air radiating from him. Maybe I'm only overreacting, but a shinobi's hunches are rarely wrong.

He catches me watching him peruse the village and nods slightly to me, which takes me a little by surprise. I nod back and turn away, though I can feel his eye from that single eyehole boring into my back, and I know how he watches the other Uchihas around – I've seen him at it before.

Something about that trademark black hair, or maybe a glint of scarlet in the darkness of his eye. It makes me wonder . . . if all the Uchiha are really in the Uchiha sector.

As far as I know, there's only been one person in our clan's history that defected without being confirmed dead . . .

I don't let myself expand on that thought, afraid of my own reasoning. Instead I take the elevator up the Hokage tower until I reach the correct floor. After arriving at my destination, I knock on the heavy wooden door and wait for a moment before I hear the aging voice from within.

"Come in."

I enter, latching the door behind me without a sound, as is a habit among most shinobi. The Sandaime looks up at my entrance and grins, removing his pipe.

"Itachi my boy, welcome, welcome."

"I have news on the coup's developments." I announce as I am waved over to stand before his desk.

"Straight to the point, as usual." He smiles, the pipe once again between his teeth. "You young people are always in a hurry. Well, let's hear it then."

"There will be a meeting held tomorrow between the leaders of my clan discussing the date and tactics of the attack." I report, "With your permission, sir, Shisui and I have come up with something that just might stop them . . ."

The Sandaime leans back in his chair and smokes as I explain the plan, the details of which Shisui and I worked out yesterday afternoon. Occasionally, he asks a question, but mostly he just nods his head and says "Hmm" in an ambiguous manner.

When I finish, he is silent for a few moments and I almost think he's forgotten I'm here. Finally, he speaks.

"You know, Itachi, that I still wish to negotiate with the Uchiha. War must be avoided at all costs."

"Yes sir." I say, because I realize and share those sentiments.

"If war is to be avoided by meddling with people's minds . . ." he sighs, long and heavy. "Then if we must, we must. I will authorize you and Shisui to follow through with this plan of yours. However, exercise the utmost caution; meddle only as much as you need to, and no more.

"I understand, sir." I hesitate, having thought of another thing to ask him. The Hokage notices my pause and addresses it.

"Is there something else, my boy?"

"Well, it's kind of silly, but . . ." I shrug and look down as he waits expectantly. "I was hoping . . . I was going to ask if you could," I swallow, "Maybe not give me any assignments that would have me out of the village on the fourteenth of August?" I know it's petty of me to ask for a day off, and I feel rather ashamed to be doing so. Father would die of embarrassment over me if he could see this scene. But I plow on. "I-it's the induction ceremony for new academy students that day and I promised Sasuke I would come." I stare at my feet, waiting for judgement to be passed.

"Itachi." I hear the soft puff of the pipe. "Duty to the village is most important, I know you know that."

"Yes sir." Having been rejected, I feel all the more ashamed for asking.

"If I assign you a mission, I expect you to complete it, no matter what's happening that day."

"Yes sir."

"But between you and me," I hear the smile in his voice, "There are plenty of other able-bodied Anbu that can take an assignment on August the fourteenth."

A grin stretches across my face and the Hokage winks at me as I stop staring at my feet. "Thank you sir."

…

I'm walking home the long way – through the forest, because I do love the forest in summer. It's thrumming with life, with bird calls and cricket chirps and squirrel chatter. The Naka River gurgles nearby, just out of sight. As I walk, the mood of the animals seems to change from one of carefree happiness to one of a more anxious air. A bird trills ahead and a whole flock of them rise with a flutter of wings and scrambling of claws – a sure sign of disturbance.

I place a hand on the hilt of my Anbu katana, unsure of the danger approaching. The bracken rustles and sticks crack ahead – a hurried dash, heading straight for me.

Just as I am about to draw my katana a human form appears, clambering through the undergrowth with all the grace of a drunken bull. I allow my hand to relax from the sword as recognition dawns.

"Shisui?"

"Itachi!"

I race towards him, catching him as he stumbles. He's holding a hand over the right half of his face. I see the scarlet of fresh blood around his fingers, and the brown smears of dried blood caked there as well. He reeks of iron.

"What happened?" I ask frantically, wanting to shake him but afraid of injuring him further, "Are there enemy shinobi? Where!"

Shisui shakes his head. "Danzo."

" _Danzo_ did this to you?" I shriek, picturing the head of the Root organization. He's always been a little shady, but he's still a well-respected shinobi throughout the village and by all accounts, loyal to the village above all. "Why?!"

Shisui's only answer is to shakily remove his hand from the right side of his face, revealing nothing but a blood-encrusted, gaping hole of an eye.

"Took my Sharingan." He explains needlessly, then points to his leg. "Think my ankle's shot, too."

His ankle is a nasty purplish color and three times its usual size, probably broken or at least fractured.

"You shouldn't have tried to walk on it." I reprimand, careful not to touch it and cause him more pain.

"How else was I supposed to get away?"

I tear the bottom of my shirt away and use it as a makeshift bandage for his ankle, and then use the sleeves of my shirt to try and staunch the bleeding from his eye. "Just until we get to the hospital." I assure him, but Shisui grabs my wrist.

"You can't take me to the hospital. You can't take me _anywhere_. You have to leave me here." He speaks with such conviction and his grip on my wrist is like iron.

"That's ridiculous." I snap, preparing to lift him. He shakes his head firmly.

"They'll want to know what happened here."

"Then we'll tell them."

"Itachi you can't!" Shisui hisses, all trace of his usual good humor gone, "If the clan finds out that a village member did this it will only increase their hatred. All hope of reconciliation will be lost then."

I hesitate and bite my lip, realizing that he's right.

"Listen," he continues, "Danzo knows about the Kotoamatsukami plan. I don't know how, but he does – probably been spying on us. He thought the power would go to my head, thought I'd try to use it on him in the future."

"So he tried to take your eyes." I conclude, "But only got one."

"I need both for Kotoamatsukami." He says, "That plan's gone to hell."

I check to see if Shisui's eye socket has stopped bleeding under the fabric I'm pressing to it – it has – and I pour water over the wound to wash away all the congealed blood. He winces at the coldness.

"Itachi . . . He's going to come after me again, and he won't stop till he's got both eyes. He'll kill me if he has to."

He's right again.

"You have to take my left eye."

" _What?!"_

Shisui's bloody fingers are already at his left eye, digging under the lids. "Either Danzo gets it, or I give it to someone else. Personally, I'd rather you have it than that old bastard."

"Your entire ninja career will be ruined!" I protest, reaching out to grab his arm and stop him, only to be swatted away by his other hand.

"It was fun while it lasted." He shrugs.

I can do nothing but watch in fascinated horror as Shisui digs out his own eye with an awful, ripping, squelching sound. He holds it out to me and with a trembling hand I accept it, feeling the warm blood drip down my wrist.

"You'll die of blood loss at this rate." I point out as Shisui uses his sleeve to wipe the gushing scarlet.

He chuckles half-heartedly. "I had planned on something a little more dramatic. Blood loss is kind of a lame way to go for a shinobi."

"I guess." I try to return his laugh but it comes out more like a strangled coughing sound. "You're sure you'll be alright here on your own?"

"Yeah I'll be fine. I know which things to eat and which to stay away from. I can feel the leaves."

"I'll come to bring you fresh water every day." I assure him, "And when this whole thing is overwith you'll be able to return." I get to my feet and wash the blood off my hands and Shisui's eye with the remaining water in my bottle, knowing that Shisui has enough left in his own to last him through today.

"Yeah . . ." he agrees. "Hey, Itachi, promise me something."

"What's that?"

"Promise me that you'll protect the village . . . and also the family name. See this through to the end, Itachi. Bring peace to Konoha."

"Of course." I nod, though he can't see it. "You're the bravest of the brave, Shisui-nii."

It's the first time I've addressed him as a brother, and we both grin. "I'm not sure about that." Shisui replies, without elaborating. "Go now, your family will be wondering which village elder has attacked you, I'm sure."

On my way back through the forest, I stare at Shisui's eye in my hand. It's an eerie thing, to have your best friend's eye staring up at you. It's glassy but still clear, that black Uchiha iris staring at me, looking straight into my soul. The torn optic nerve pokes into my palm as I close my fist around the eye.

Overhead, a crow caws, loud and harsh. I glance up and see it perched on a branch nearby, eyeing me beadily. One eye, I see, is clouded over with milky white, probably injured by a fox. An idea forms in my mind as the bird caws again.

"What do you think, bird-brain?" I ask softly. The crow blinks. "How would you feel about new eyesight?" I uncurl my fist and show the crow the eyeball.

I stare at the crow and the crow stares at me and we stare at each other for several long moments. And in my open palm, Shisui's eye stares too.


	3. Accusations

Chapter Three: Accusations

"They pulled a body out of the Naka River this morning."

I am sitting on the roof of the Uchiha headquarters, half-listening in on the conversation between my oblivious clanmates below.

"Oh yeah? Who was it?"

"They're saying it's Shisui – with both of his eyes gone."

I sit up poker-straight, eyes wide, hardly daring to breathe. Did I hear correctly?

"Bummer." The other shakes his head. "Who did him in?"

"The official ruling was suicide. But did you hear me? His eyes were missing!"

"That's not unheard of." The man shrugs, "Plenty of dojutsu users destroy their eyes to keep them from being stolen after death."

The first shinobi grunts and crosses his arms. "It just seems kinda weird to me. I mean, Shisui was a pretty happy guy, right? Why'd he kill himself?"

"I didn't know him. But what are you trying to say?"

 _Shisui?! Dead?!_ This cannot be happening.

"Well, you know how killing a friend gets you the Mangekyo Sharingan, right?"

"Yeah."

"It's my understanding that Shisui and Fugaku's kid Itachi were pretty close. Itachi's always been kinda quiet and weird . . . I wouldn't put it past him to have murdered Shisui to advance his Sharingan. I mean, it would be pretty easy for him to stage a suicide, too. Y'know what I mean?"

I've heard enough. I take off from the roof with a simple need to just _run_.

 _Shisui is dead_. I tell myself. _Shisui has killed himself._

No, that's impossible. Shisui, grinning, jokester, Shisui. Only yesterday I spoke to him, we laughed together despite the horrid circumstance. Because that's Shisui – lighthearted about everything. Was he planning it then? I wonder, did he already know what he was going to do?

Yes, because I remember his words.

 _"_ _I had planned on something a little more dramatic. Blood loss is kind of a lame way to go for a shinobi."_

Damn him. _Damn him!_

I feel tears welling in my eyes and then I have to stop running because nausea is coming on strong. I stand at the roadside and cry and retch and toss up what I've eaten today through the blur of tears.

That is how my father finds me several minutes later, and though I can tell he wants to reprimand me for showing emotion, which shinobi by definition should never do, he also knows that I have just lost a friend, no, a brother, and I have every right to grieve.

At home I am sat down on the couch in the living room, shivering despite the July heat, where Mother wipes the sweat from my face with a cool cloth.

I thought we were in this together, Shisui . . . weren't we? How I wish I could call my crow here now, release it from the genjutsu I'm using to train it, and bring it sailing through the window onto my shoulder where it would blink at me with that one Sharingan eye and caw. But I can only do that when I'm alone so that nobody discovers Shisui's eye and asks questions. Here on the couch Mother rubs my arms and hugs me in a close, rocking hug while she murmurs things that I don't bother to hear.

But all I can do is stare dumbly at the framed picture on the mantle. It's just me and Shisui in that picture, arms around shoulders. Smiling like nothing's wrong and Shisui's not dead and our entire clan is not doomed by their own hatred.

Sasuke wanders in, sees my face, and immediately knows something's wrong. I want to relax and replace my horrorstruck features with those of calm serenity for his benefit, but I can't. Luckily Mother is there and she shoos him away gently, still with one arm around me.

"It's alright Sasuke, Itachi-nii will be fine, don't worry. Why don't you head upstairs and play Ninja Art Summon with Baku?" she suggests, referring to Sasuke's favorite stuffed animal – a green snake named Baku. Sasuke likes to pretend that he's signed a summoning contract with Baku and they have imaginary battles in Sasuke's room. He's getting a little old for the game and hasn't played in a while, but he knows better than to argue now and so makes his way upstairs.

"And remember not to disturb Father while he's in his meeting!" Mother calls after Sasuke.

Father! The meeting!

If before I was not able to recover from my shock, now ninja instincts are beginning to kick in. The meeting must be my main priority for now, so that I can get inside information on the coup's planning and report it. Grieving for Shisui will have to wait.

Duty comes first.

…..

"And they plan to attack here, here, and here." I point to the map in the Hokage's office without any conviction or feeling whatsoever. "And they're going to advance through this tower from the bottom and the top."

I hear the _puff puff puff_ of the Sandaime's pipe as I finish explaining what I gathered from the meeting and turn to him. He just looks at me, long and silent.

"I heard about Shisui." He finally says, without making a comment on the attack plan I just illustrated, "I wish to express my condolences on the matter."

 _My condolences_. What a formal and uncaring expression. "You have none." I say coldly, looking away.

"Itachi." His voice is gravelly and raspy, an old man's voice. "I love every man, woman, and child in this village as though they were my own children. Believe me, I grieve too. But Shisui died for a noble cause; that of peace."

"He committed suicide!" I shout.

The Sandaime removes his pipe. "He's trusting you to carry on his mission. You mustn't fail."

As I am walking down the stairs of the Hokage tower (because the elevator is under maintenance), a creaky old man is walking up.

Although he's only fifty-two, Danzo looks far older than his years, and the kids like to play a game of guessing what's under all those bandages around his right half. But most shinobi have concluded he's hiding injuries he sustained from the war that put him out of commission.

Danzo. I feel nothing but cold hatred for him now, standing above him on the stairs. I clench my fist and hold my tongue, remembering the feeling of an eyeball in my hand and the sight of a bloody man with two cavernous hollows.

He sees my anger, though I try to hold it in. Danzo smiles slightly at me, but it's not a pretty smile. It's the type of smile that delights in making others uncomfortable, the type of smile that likes to make people squirm.

"Do you hate me?" he rasps – damage to his throat makes his voice scratchy and alien. "Good. _Use_ that hatred, boy."

"Hatred," I say, more to remind myself than to inform him, "Will never get me anywhere."

The elder watches me for a moment, and his mouth twitches as though deciding what to say. "Listen to me, Itachi, and listen closely. You may have thought that you'd found a way to reach a peaceful agreement, but you were wrong! Power corrupts people, boy, even those who you thought were trustworthy. Messing with the minds of others is a dangerous route, I see nothing but complicated animosity down that path."

His one visible eye is small and black and squinty as he makes eye contact. I glimpse madness there and look away, rather frightened.

"There is no hope for peace now . . ." Danzo trails off, shaking his head.

"Do you really think so?" I ask softly, because that's truly what I've begun to ask myself in the back of my own mind. Because we had one chance in which Shisui and I might have succeeded, and that chance has been destroyed beyond recognition. I can think of nothing else except to plead with my clan, and so far, that's been a miserable failure.

"You have a little brother don't you?"

The question takes me by surprise with its irrelevance. "Y-yes," I stammer, "His name is Sasuke."

"And how old is Sasuke?" Danzo asks with what seems to be genuine curiosity. I'm immediately on my guard; what does he want with a little kid like Sasuke?

"He's almost eight. He'll be starting at the Academy in August."

"As a Nii-san, you must love him very much."

"Yes, I do."

Danzo taps his cane on the wooden stairs thoughtfully and stares at me again. "Itachi, a peaceful resolution is out of the question at this point. Therefore, you have two options. Either you allow this coup d'état to happen, Konoha falls into war, and the _entire Uchiha clan_ is wiped out." Here he stops, waiting for me to ask.

"What's the other option?"

"Or, you can save your Sasuke _and_ Konoha." Danzo smiles again and that flicker of madness appears in his eye once more.

"What would that involve?" I notice that he did not specify saving other members of my clan, only Sasuke.

"Well . . ."

…..

There is a light rap on my bedroom door. I know it's Mother because Sasuke's knock is much more fast and urgent, and Father wouldn't knock at all.

When I don't answer, she calls quietly through the door. "There are some young men here to see you."

"I don't want to see them." I growl back, inspecting the framed picture in my hand. It is the same picture of Shisui and I that was on the mantle downstairs, and I've been staring at it for an hour. My thumb leaves smudge marks on the glass that, try as I might, I cannot rub off.

"Please, Itachi." Mother says. Something in her voice makes me sigh and stand up, placing the picture on the nightstand. I open the door and she looks relieved as I follow her downstairs; it's Uchiha Kaito at the door with his cousins Momoto and Itaru flanking him. Sasuke is sitting on the first step, eating a lollipop and watching the whole thing. Mother disappears into the depths of the house after delivering me to the door.

"Ah, here he is." Kaito says triumphantly as I appear. He is waving around a slip of yellow paper. "Tell me Itachi, what do you know about Shisui's death?"

"What are you, a reporter?" I glare. It's not really a habit of mine to be hostile to visitors, but said visitors don't habitually pour salt in my wounds either.

"Avoiding the question." Kaito raises an eyebrow and addresses his cousins. "How's that for an answer?"

"Clear enough." Momoto folds his arms, as does Itaru.

"What do you want?" I ask warily, starting to think that maybe I should have stayed in my room.

"What we want," Kaito announces regally, "Is the truth. Shisui was like a brother to us. We knew him probably better than anyone. It seems quite odd that he would kill himself for no reason."

As far as I know, Kaito and co only spoke to Shisui maybe three times in before his death. They worshipped him as one of the most talented members of the clan, but knew him well? No.

"If there was anyone who truly knew him," I reply, "It was me."

"Aha!" Kaito exclaims, "Do you deny, then, that Shisui was your best friend?"

Oh hell, I know where this is going. I had dismissed the accusation I heard yesterday as only a single deviant view, but apparently, it's not so deviant after all. My eyes narrow. "What are you suggesting, Kaito?"

"I think you know, Itachi. I'm suggesting, that you murdered Shisui to attain the Mangekyo Sharingan, and then staged a suicide. Not very well, either, I must say. I mean, his body showed signs of a struggle – his ankle was broken. And," he flourishes the paper and holds it out to me. "Is this really a good reason for a suicide?!"

I take the slip of paper from Kaito's hand, and immediately recognize Shisui's chicken-scratch handwriting.

 _My fellow Uchiha,_

 _I love all of you more than words can express – you are my friends and my family, I have never forgotten that. We are a clan of great shinobi, but it has always been the fatal flaw of our bloodline to be more loyal to the clan than to the village. This is_ _not_ _the way of the shinobi, as all of you pledged when you received your Konoha hitai-ate as genin. The safety of the village comes before all else, and to destroy it as you all wish to do is the greatest dishonor. I, for one, cannot partake in these crimes (I would rather die), and as I watch the hungry river below me, I beg of you one last time: forget your differences, embrace Konoha with open arms, and bring peace to my home._

 _Uchiha Shisui_

As I take in Shisui's signature at the bottom, the first emotion that fills me is pride for him, only to be washed away by a powerful wave of anger. Few times in my life have I ever been well and truly enraged, and never as strongly as this.

Itaru seems to sense the danger because he steps back a pace, but Kaito and Momoto just stand there like the arrogant toads they are.

"You think – you think I'd kill my best friend? My brother?" unintentionally, my eyes begin to pick out subtle movements of the men before me, the kind you see when your Sharingan is activated.

"Hey, now." Momoto's starting to get a little uneasy now, "No need for dojutsu."

"More than that," Kaito replies, ignoring Momoto, "I think you'd take his eyes to stop your own from wearing out – isn't that the way with Mangekyo?"

Although a small voice in the back of my head warns me against it, the rest of my body is already throwing myself at Kaito and my fists are already pounding his face faster than he can react, my vision is already nothing but scarlet. The others try to pull me off but I lash out and hit whatever I can, be it face, stomach, or throat, which are followed by loud curses.

It would be so easy to kill them all, I think, blundering idiots as they are. Just knock them in the right place and . . . it would be easy to do it without thinking, just like Danzo promised it would. My hands waver, uncertain.

Shouts are growing closer and then there are elbows hooked into mine and a knee countering every kick. I squirm but I'm not thinking clearly enough to actually escape.

"Itachi – _Itachi_!" Father whacks me good on the temple and this brings me out of my frenzy. I calm down, panting. My hair hangs in my face, mostly undone from its tie, my vision is still blurry and my eyes hurt.

"Mangekyo!" Kaito's voice comes from one of the forms on the ground. His voice is nasally like his nose might be bleeding. "I told you he had it!"

And then Father is apologizing for me and shoving me back into the house. Sasuke is in the doorway and we make eye contact, my vision getting sharper again.

Never has my little brother been frightened of me, but he is now, I can see it in the way he shrinks back and in his wide eyes and in the way he holds his hands close to his body.

"What the _hell_ got into you, boy?!" Father snarls, letting go of me with a hard shove. And thus begins my descent in the eyes of my clan.

* * *

A/N: I hoped you liked this chapter, please review!


	4. Forsaken

Chapter Four: Forsaken

There are two options: for the coup or against the coup. I can watch Konoha burn, or I can save the village and my brother. At the price of my own humanity.

Just as my clan have made up their minds about the coup, so have I made up mine. Danzo was right when he told me there was no hope left for peace, I learned that after I lost my composure and attacked Kaito and the others – nobody trusts me anymore, I hardly have a voice in this clan. My pleas for peace have fallen on deaf ears.

And so I have chosen what I consider the lesser of two evils.

 _Tonight_ I think. I've been putting it off for an entire month, now there are only days left before the scheduled attack on Konoha.

Today will be spent steeling my heart, squeezing every drop of feeling out of it as though I were juicing an orange. When night comes, I must not let panic and empathy worm their way into my head. I must not hesitate or the entire operation will be jeopardized.

Tonight I will no longer be Itachi. Itachi will sink into the darkest depths of my mind to a place that he will never return from. Itachi, the quiet, gentle Uchiha will be lost forever.

 _Let's practice_. I tell myself, _See if you can._

In my hand I hold that photo. Yes, _that_ photo. Shisui and Itachi smile up at me, oblivious to the pending danger. I've taken it out of the frame which lies abandoned on the floor. My fingers tremble as I grip the top of the paper.

 _Don't hesitate, just do it!_

I squeeze my eyes shut and pull. There is the sound of tearing paper and the sound of tearing out a young man's heart together. Still with my eyes closed, I tear again.

And again.

And again.

And again.

Until I could not put this puzzle back together if I tried.

Last night it rained hard, and there are still puddles and mucky wet spots on the ground. I burst open the window and throw the bits of Shisui and Itachi out, watching them flutter to the ground and come to rest in a small pool of murky rainwater. The ink blots, marring out anything that could have been possibly recognizable.

And that little voice in my head says, _Tonight you won't be able to close your eyes._

I know my mother has noticed that something's wrong. I heard her asking Father if he thought I was having a relapse over Shisui. Father replied that he hoped I was going to get over it and take an Anbu mission soon because he's sick and tired of me moping around the house all day.

"You're coming to my induction ceremony, right?" Sasuke hops onto my back like a squirmy little monkey. "Right Nii-san? It's next week!"

"Of course." I swallow my guilt over the lie and deliver it with a smile. What I don't tell him is that even if I wasn't going to stop my clan, he probably wouldn't be inducted because the attack is planned for that same week and the village would be in the midst of war.

"Now will you teach me shuriken jutsu?"

"Not today." I don't want to throw a kunai until I have to. I poke Sasuke's forehead over my shoulder and his face turns sour.

"That's what you always say." He pouts, jumping off my back, "You never have time for me."

 _It's not that,_ I want to tell him as he stalks off, _It's just that I don't want you to grow up liking the sound of weapons hitting bodies and pained groans._

 _Like I'll be hearing tonight._

…..

5 pm.

Five hours to go. I'm packing a backpack to take with me with a little food and some extra clothes. I don't know where I'll go from here, haven't thought about it. I'll probably settle down in some tiny fishing village until Sasuke's old enough to bring me what I deserve. Because for what I'm about to do, I deserve nothing but the worst pain and torture.

Suddenly, I know I can't do this all by myself. I can't be the only one to bear this burden.

I'm _that_ kind of guy. The one who brings people down with him when he falls.

Except . . . there's one person I know who's already forsaken.

…..

"Itachi."

I had imagined a low, baritone voice akin to my father's, but what I hear is something higher and quite average sounding. I don't ask how he knows my name and I don't ask how he can still be alive. I am here for one thing and one thing only.

"Madara." I've found him sitting in a tree, inspecting his fingernails. But as we begin, he leaps down and lands as softly as a cat before leaning casually against the trunk.

"I prefer the name Tobi, if that's alright with you."

"Of course." We are both exuding false politeness, testing the waters.

"How can I help you, Itachi?"

"First," I say, because _I'm_ determined to be in charge here, "Tell me what your plans are for Konoha." I _know_ he's got some nasty plan for the village. _Just like the rest of this clan_ , I think dryly as Madara considers whether he's going to answer truthfully.

"Same as they were eight years ago," he shrugs, "Bring the village and its inhabitants to the ground."

" _Everyone_?" I ask him, "Or just the Uchiha?"

"Well now," he says softly, "There's an idea."

"Look, I'll make you a deal. You leave Konoha alone, and I'll let you help me take out the clan. I fulfill my duty to protect the village, and you get revenge on our kinsman who kicked you out."

"You know," Madara crosses his arms, "I'd taken you to be one of those pacifist ninja that goes around preaching peace, but now I see you have a healthy streak of bloodthirstiness in you. I like you, so I'll throw in an added benefit per say. You've heard of the Akatsuki, right?"

"Yeah." I remember learning about the organization in world studies, "Orochimaru joined not too long ago."

"Oh, yes, Orochimaru. A little creepy, but a genius nevertheless." Madara nods favorably, "Anyway, I've got some . . . good connections. I could get you a spot if you're interested. Think about that; it's a great honor. They only take the most powerful ninja throughout the world. And," he adds humorously, "The position comes with a cool new coat."

My first instinct is to refuse; the Akatsuki have a reputation as a notorious bunch of sadistic criminals, but then I start to think about the major benefits a position like that would have, chiefly that of passing on inside information to the Hokage.

"I'll take it." I stick out my hand, "Do we have a deal?"

Madara reaches forward to shake my hand once. "We have a deal."

* * *

A/N: constructive criticism/feedback always appreciated!

if not tomorrow, next update will be a few days because I'm going on vacation.


	5. Hatred

Chapter Five: Hatred

"Are you afraid?" Madara asks. Night has fallen and there is nobody on the streets – it's past curfew for the Uchiha clan.

I know he can see my hands trembling so there's no point in lying. "Yes."

"That's good." He nods, "It's always easier when you're afraid."

"Are you?"

Madara hesitates an instant too long before snorting and replying in a loud whisper, "Of course not." There's a long pause. Then, "If you want me to take out your loved ones, I understand. Even we villains struggle with emotions from time to time."

"No!" I answer vehemently, "I'll do it!" because to massacre my entire clan and not personally kill my parents would be the greatest insult.

"Alright," Madara motions for me to calm down, "Just tell me which house it is and I'll skip it."

"Number 504. It's in the center of the sector. I motion to the right. "You start on that end, and I'll take this end. We'll meet in the middle. Remember, silence is most important."

My feet are loud on the pavement and my breathing heavy as I approach the first house: 370; It's the home of Uchiha Kaito. Through the window I see his father, nose buried in the paper, completely oblivious to the doom approaching him.

Now is the time to use what I practiced earlier today. I imagine Shisui's face as ripped paper, and I rip it again and again in my mind until I feel no more. And then I take a deep breath, put my hand on the doorknob, and use chakra to undo the interior mechanisms of the lock.

I draw my katana before opening the door, afraid that the sound might alert the inhabitants to an intruder. I close the door soundlessly behind me, thankful that it doesn't creak. In the sitting room, there is Kaito's father, who looks up from his paper upon my entrance, and his wife (whom I didn't see through the window) in a corner doing a puzzle.

I move towards him first, knowing that she's not a ninja and can't do much to stop me. His hand goes to a knife concealed in his obi but by the time he draws it there's already a sword in his neck – the best place besides the head for a silent kill.

The wife's scream only gets halfway up her throat, blocked by a blade beneath her chin.

I know Kaito's upstairs because I saw the light in his room from the outside. I open the door to the room and immediately deflect two shuriken; he's a good ninja; he knew someone was intruding.

His face is dark and grim, like he's not surprised. It's frozen in that expression when I land a kunai in his forehead and shut the door behind me, leaving Kaito and his family in a pool of their own blood.

I draw a shaky breath. _Three down. A lot to go._

I work my way through the sector, leaving each house as silently as I come. I hate to admit that it gets easier after the first few; after a while my emotions just decide there's nothing they can do and go to sleep so that I am a mechanical ninja, killing everything in his path with a single stroke.

I try not to dwell on any one person. I force myself to move on, past the blood bubbling at their lips, past the looks of utter betrayal they throw at me. The children are the worst; defenseless and cowering as their parents are slain, knowing that they are next. With a tremor of guilt, I am relieved that Uchiha Nagami's week-old daughter is on Madara's side of the sector.

Dimly, (as I cut and slash through the daycare lady and her son), I wonder how Madara is faring. I wonder if he's being as merciful as I am, or if he's relishing this.

After nearly an hour, I reach the large house with the numbers 504 on the front. I hesitate, then steel myself before entering.

The familiar smell of home hits me, overcoming the stench of blood that comes from my spattered clothes and stained katana.

"Itachi?" Mother appears first, quickly followed by Father, "Where've you been? We've been so worried abo –" she stops as I step into the moonlight cast, revealing my bloodied state. Father seems to understand at once while I raise the sword.

"I see." He says, with that frown of his once again.

"Please," I whisper hoarsely, "It's the only way."

Father looks down at his feet, but Mother looks straight into my eyes. It unnerves me because I see no panic in them, only calm acceptance.

"We love you, Itachi. _So_ much."

"I love you too, Mother." I whisper as she puts her arms around me, "And you're getting blood on your dress."

"Doesn't matter." She chuckles, "But will you promise me one thing?"

"Of course."

"Please take care of Sasuke. He needs you."

I humor her, though I know that I can have zero part in Sasuke's life except for that of fueling hatred. "I will."

Father clears his throat as Mother and I pull apart. "I know we haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately but . . . you're a top-notch shinobi and an even better man. I respect that, regardless of our differences, and I'm proud to call you my son, Itachi."

Praise from Father is incredibly rare, and I almost smile. "I guess this is it then." I offer quietly, for lack of anything better to say.

Father pulls Mother to him and kisses her one final time in the illumination of the moonlight, wiping a tear from her cheek.

They pull apart and both turn so that their backs are facing me. "Quickly, darling!" my mother urges, "Before Sasuke gets back!"

That's right, I remember that Sasuke is in a night-survival training session with a couple of his friends; they pestered Umino Iruka so much that he relented and took them out tonight. Thank god he isn't here watching this.

"No-one could ask for better parents." I reply as I force my emotions back to sleep.

Father first because I know Mother is taking this better than he is. The katana does not want to be pushed into his back, but I force it anyway, fresh blood glinting on the blade. He falls and the room shakes with the force of him hitting the floor.

The sword slides into mother's back more easily, either because she is smaller or less tense, I don't know. She too crashes to the floor next to Father.

I feel that cold icy feeling in my chest permeating to the rest of my body, I feel so numb. Just . . . nothing.

And then there is the click of the latch in the door; I turn and there stands my little brother. He freezes in the doorway as he takes in the scene: of Mother and Father bloodstained on the floor, of me standing over them, also bloodstained but clearly unharmed.

"I-Itachi?" He whimpers. I notice that he says 'Itachi' and not 'Nii-san'. When I reply, I make my voice cold and cruel.

"Hello, Sasuke. Welcome home."

"Itachi?" He asks again, "W-what's going on?"

"Exactly what it looks like." I shrug and begin to advance towards him. Sasuke flattens himself against the door, trying to become as small as possible.

"M-mother. And F-father? Are they . . ."

"Are they dead?" I raise an eyebrow, "Is that what you're trying to ask? Why yes, it would appear so."

"Baby Sasuke." I taunt, reaching out to poke him on the forehead in the routine manner. This is the last straw for him; he turns and bursts out the door. I follow him into the night.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke!" I call in a sing-song voice, activating my Mangekyo Sharingan. Sasuke looks back to see how much I've gained on him and therein lies his mistake. We make eye contact and he skids to a halt, having been caught in my Tsukuyomi.

I am determined to make him hate me beyond belief, to scar his mind with my name. And so I put into the Tsukuyomi the most evil thing I can think of to show a small child: the death of his parents.

With a lot less love and a lot more blood.

When I release Sasuke from the genjutsu he's changed. I have achieved what I set out to do, I conclude. Because as Sasuke glares at me from below, I see that his eyes have taken on that red tint and single tomoe of an Uchiha's first Sharingan. A rush of pride fills me, but I quickly stifle it and don't let it show.

"Do you hate me?" I ask, echoing Danzo's words that day on the staircase, "Good. _Use_ that hatred, Sasuke."

"Why?" He snarls. "How could you murder our parents – our _clan_!"

"Why?" I repeat. The question catches me off-guard – I didn't really prepare a backstory. "Oh, just target practice. But you know," I lean down to meet him at eye level, "You're so small and weak . . . almost a pity to waste a kunai on you." I twirl a kunai on my finger for effect. "I think I'm going to let you live, Sasuke. Come back to me when you've got your own Mangekyo Sharingan. Then, maybe someone will be strong enough to match me." I rise and turn.

"How?" Sasuke asks.

"Mangekyo? Easy." I tell him, "You've got to murder your best friend, like I did Shisui."

"Make no mistake, Itachi." My eight-year-old brother swears, "I _will_ become strong, and I _will_ kill you for this."

I smile over my shoulder at him, meant to look sadistic but actually genuine. Then I dash off over the rooftops, away from the Uchiha sector, away from Konoha, away from my beloved brother.

And then all the façade and all the ice shatters and I am myself again; a pacifist ninja who just murdered at least a hundred people and contributed to the deaths of at least a hundred more, and who just mentally tortured his brother and wished himself a death sentence. The tears come and Mother is not there to wipe them away and hold me like she did after Shisui, because she is dead on the floor in a puddle of iron stench next to my father's body.

I look back only once.

* * *

A/N: I never fully understood why Obito (in the guise of Madara) agreed to help Itachi kill the clan. Obito had no motivation (unless i'm missing something).

innyway, there won't be another chapter for a few days bc I'm going on vacation, sorry.

thanks for reading, please review!


	6. Induction

Chapter Six: Induction

So much rain. I've taken shelter in a small lean-to left by some passing shinobi some time ago. It leaks through the left corner but at least it offers some protection from the downpour. This is where Madara told me to wait for the Akatsuki before he took off to god-knows-where.

I have decided that I can no longer call myself a shinobi. A _ninja_ I am, but the word _shinobi_ implies a code of ethics and honor that I can no longer adhere to after what I've done.

 _Ninja_ , as part of the job description, are masters of deceit. We are sneaky and sly, fox-hearted and underhanded. We stop at nothing to get the job done. I must take on all of these qualities for my Akatsuki career. I must fit in and pretend I am an evil sadist that delights in bloodshed, and detach the shinobi part of myself. In other words, I will become a professional liar.

I have been waiting in the lean-to for eighteen minutes, (trying very hard to keep away from the steady stream falling from the leak) when they appear.

Only two of them have come to see what I'm about – obviously, I'm not significant enough for the others to bother with.

As they draw closer I recognize the shorter, hooded figure; Orochimaru. I struggle to ignore the shiver running down my spine at the thought of him. The guy is the creepiest person I know, and the awful, tightly-stretched greenish skin in combination with slitted pupils does not make one feel comforted when gazing upon him.

I shift my attention to the tall figure. I thought Orochimaru's was a nightmarish face, but he's got nothing on this guy. His skin is a bluish-gray, like he has hypothermia or something. At first glance I think the slits on his high cheekbones are clan markings, but upon closer inspection they appear to be _gills_. Most noticeable of all are his eyes; small and circular and deep-set, they are the most inhuman things I have ever seen. He's not wearing his hood but lets the rain stream down his face without seeming to care. No doubt about it – this one's not a fox-heart like most ninja, he's a shark to the core.

"Don't stare, Itachi." Orochimaru chides when he's close enough, "It's rude."

I don't come out from under the lean-to roof but instead lean against one of its walls. "Forgive me." I nod my head to the shark man, "I've never seen anyone quite like you."

"Most people haven't." His voice has a similar quality to Orochimaru's: smooth and slithery and slippery like an eel. He smiles a cold, cruel, Danzo smile, and as he speaks those gill things waver in and out. I see that his teeth are filed to sharp points.

"Kisame's . . . irregularities are the result of several inhumane experiments performed on him as a child," Orochimaru explains, "quite tragic really."

"Wouldn't happen to be one of _your_ inhumane and tragic child experiments, would it Orochimaru?" I lift an eyebrow as I point out the irony in Orochimaru speaking of such things.

"Unfortunately, I can't claim this piece of work. But don't say that with such an accusing tone, Itachi." He mocks being offended, "After all, I hear you've been getting up to some inhumane and tragic pastimes yourself recently."

"Yeeeessss." Kisame puts in, drawing out the word, "Murdering your fellow Konoha shinobi. I think we're going to get along very well, Uchiha Itachi."

Thus, on a Tuesday afternoon, under a rainy and depressingly dark sky, I am inducted into the world's most dangerous criminal organization. I am presented with the one-size-fits-all Akatsuki coat, as well as a bloodred ring with the character for 'scarlet' on it, and a bottle of dark nail polish. The coat I don as well as the ring, but the nail polish I'm not so sure about so I pocket it.

"And now, if you would please, the hitai-ate ritual." Kisame gestures to his hitai-ate, which has a long scratch over the Kirigakure symbol. "Just a kunai will do."

With only a slight hesitation that I hope isn't perceivable, I untie my hitai-ate and lay it before me, taking a kunai from my tool pouch. The metal screeches in protest and a few sparks leap as I drag the blade across in a perfectly straight line. When it's done, I examine my kunai to make sure it hasn't dulled and then retie the band over my forehead.

"Lovely." Kisame pronounces. He hold out his hand, which I find to be unnaturally smooth, but also cold and clammy as I shake it. "Welcome to the Akatsuki."

"We work in partners," Orochimaru is explaining as we sit inside a crowded restaurant. Kisame insisted that we stop for food, though he's the only one eating. I'm not hungry and I can't imagine Orochimaru doing anything as ordinary as eating unless it was in the consumption of some oddity like a live snake. "Kisame's partner was recently . . . terminated . . . so you'll be working together from now on.

I try not to shrink away in revulsion as I once again glimpse the flapping gills and shifty eyes of the shark man. Then I look back at Orochimaru and realize that anything's better than working with _him_.

"I look forward to it." I reply emotionlessly as Kisame downs the last of his soup. "What's the mission?"

Orochimaru twists the gray-blue ring on his pinky finger. "As of right now, you're to learn how to work with each other so that you can perform complicated tasks together dually and seamlessly. Until . . . well, there are rumors going around that our leader plans to call an Akatsuki meeting soon."

Kisame smiles his Danzo smile and his eyes widen. "Really? Old Pein's calling a meeting? How exciting; this hasn't happened in years."

"Only a rumor." Orochimaru shrugs as Kisame accepts his bill. Outside, the rain has finally stopped and the sun has decided to come out of hiding, casting bright light through the window.

…

Every day I wake up and remind myself, _Itachi, you are cruel._

Never has there been a truer lie. While I present the mask of an unemotional and detached criminal to Kisame, I am reminded how I had to make myself unemotional and detached in order to become a criminal.

It's nearly daybreak and I'm lying on my bed in the small room that's provided to each Akatsuki team. I have to sleep across the room from Kisame, and this is a trial because he snores like thunder, which is extremely unusual for a ninja. Then again, I suppose, as I watch the drool drying on bluish skin, Kisame is rather unusual.

After trying and failing to go back to sleep with that thunder ringing in my ears, I sigh and get up before scribbling a note on a scrap of paper.

 _'Gone out, back soon.'_

I'm not sure how I feel about the fact that the one-room cabin is right outside a forest. It reminds me of Konoha, which is both a good and a bad thing.

As I enter the forest, a rabbit is perched delicately a little to my right. It's quivering at my presence and its nose twitches slightly before it turns and dashes off, tail bobbing between the ferns.

There's a rough cry from above me and a big black bird swoops down, odd eyes glinting. "Hey, old buddy." I smile wanly. "Good to see you." I touch two fingers to my hitai-ate in a mock salute. The crow caws at me again before flapping and landing on my shoulder.

"Ow-ow! That hurts!" I snap as sharp talons dig into my skin. Thankfully my coat hasn't ripped, but the bird takes no notice of my protests and I decide to let it stay on my shoulder – unlike my (nearly extinct) clan, Kisame won't ask questions about how Shisui's missing eye ended up in my accomplice.

"You know what?" I say, daring to reach up and stroke the feathers on its back, "You need a name." I feel kind of silly talking to a crow, but as of right now, this crow is the only friend I've got.

"What about Sotaru?" I ask, picking a name at random. The bird opens its beak and hisses (I didn't even know crows could make such a sound) which I take to be in the negative.

"Okay, guess not . . . is Akaime all right?" the name means red-eye, which is particularly fitting in this instance. It does not seem to respond, so I figure Akaime's acceptable.

Akaime eyeballs me with his Sharingan eye and I am reminded of Shisui, the original owner. I swallow the lump in my throat but can't help the tears pricking in my eyes. Akaime clucks quietly at my shoulder – it appears that crows can make an array of interesting noises besides cawing – and I cry freely, alone in the forest, for Shisui and my clan and my poor tormented brother.

Except that I'm not alone. I've let my guard down, didn't hear Kisame following me. Before he shows himself I quickly wipe my eyes on a sleeve, hoping he didn't see, and hide my Itachi face behind the cold and stony mask once more.

"You left me all by myself." Kisame feigns offence as he appears from the trees.

"Sorry." I reply without an ounce of remorse, "You were asleep."

Kisame notices Akaime for the first time. "Ooh, who's this little guy?" he reaches out a finger to pet the crow's head. I'm hoping that Akaime will snap at Kisame's hand, but I'm surprised and a little hurt when he allows himself to be pet without protest.

"You know we're supposed to be learning to work together." Kisame points out, "Not skulking off in the forest alone."

"Hnnnn."

"So," he smiles, "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself?"

"My favorite food is squid." I say, hoping I sound disinterested enough that he gets the hint, and I offer no more.

"Had you lived in Konoha your whole life?"

If he's going to question me, I know where it's going to lead, and I'm really not in the mood to feed him some bullpucky story about how I always hated the Uchiha and wished for their destruction at a young age. "I'd rather not talk about it. So, what about you?"

Kisame shrugs and pets Akaime again. The bird warbles deep in his throat and I'm instantly jealous, though I try not to show it. The permanent toothy grin has faded from Kisame's face and he looks even odder with his mouth in a straight line, bordering on a frown. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Fair enough." I say, and since we need _something_ to talk about, "Then tell me about the other Akatsuki.

The smile is back again as we continue through the forest, the crisp morning air promising a clear day. "Well, you already know Orochimaru. I never really liked him – too slick and tricky. No sense of honor."

I almost laugh to hear an S-class criminal talking about honor.

"Orochimaru works with Sasori, the best puppeteer in the world. He's a cute little guy when he comes out from the ugly-ass puppet he hides himself in all the time. He's also the youngest member at fifteen. Then there's the Zonbi Konbi." Kisame rolls his eyes. "Kakuzu is a greedy asshole who is prone to ferocious rages, in which he's killed his last four partners. But, his current partner Hidan is immortal, so that works out well. Hidan's always going on about religion, but he's got a crude sense of humor that I can relate to."

Again, I'm skeptical. How can someone be immortal? And why's a murderer going on about religion? He must know he's destined for hell (if there is such a place).

"Zetsu is the only member who doesn't work in a team. Well, technically he does. Zetsu is really two people in the form of one; a split personality per say. There's White Zetsu the Chatterbox – he's alright. And then there's Black Zetsu who's also known as Wicked Tongue. I'm sure you can gather that he's quite charming." Kisame adds sarcastically. "And Konan is our only female member. She's kind of ugly – but don't tell her I said that. I've never heard her speak; I don't know, maybe she's mute. Her partner is our leade – ow! Damn, I wish they didn't use these stupid rings."

A searing sensation travels up my arm, stemming from my right ring finger – the one with the scarlet ring on it. Akaime shifts uncomfortably on my shoulder, probably feeling it in his claws as well. Within seconds, the burning stops and I examine the skin under my ring. It's red but not damaged. From Kisame's reaction, I gather his ring burned him too.

"Do they do this a lot?" I ask, eyeing mine warily.

"Nope." Kisame says, "It means that Pein's called a meeting. And we have twenty-four hours to get there."

"To get where?" I ask as we turn back towards the room to collect our things.

"To the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path" Kisame answers cheerfully.

* * *

A/N: sorry if Akaime doesn't actually mean red-eye. I used google translate so...

also Zonbi Konbi means 'zombie combo' and it's how Kisame refers to Kakuzu/Hidan team. I decided to use the Japanese to keep the rhyme.

hope you enjoyed, pls review! ^^


	7. Pein

Chapter Seven: Pein

"Is this it?" I wonder aloud. Kisame and I stand before a large cave with an entrance shrouded in darkness. "Doesn't look much like a demonic statue."

"The demonic statue is inside." He explains as we enter the cavern.

I have to blink as my eyes adjust to the gloom. From the sunlight pouring in through the entrance, figures become distinguishable, and behind them in the back of the cave a large rock formation. I can make out what looks like a man holding out two hands. It's not very demonic looking, but then, neither am I, and look at the horrors I've committed.

There are six people in here including Kisame and I. The first to approach is a humanoid figure that looks to have been fused with an enormous carnivorous plant that sticks up like a collar. Inside the plant there is a man with two halves – one black and one white.

"Kisame!" The white half hails cheerfully, "Long time no see!"

"Hello Zetsu." Kisame replies with the usual eel-voice and Danzo smile.

"Who's the bird-brain?" Black Zetsu asks. His voice is different than White Zetsu's; much less friendly and more taunting. There is only one mouth, but it seems as though each half uses the mouth independently, so that two different entities speak out of the same mouth in turns.

"Akaime." I reply, stroking Akaime's feathers. Zetsu nods.

"Lovely to meet you, Akaime. And the crow?"

I blink at the insult and Kisame sniggers quietly. "The crow is Akaime. I am Uchiha Itachi."

Zetsu's laugh fills the cave and echoes off the walls. "I'm only playing, kiddo." White Zetsu grins, "I know who you are."

"It's good that you've arrived." Orochimaru breaks in, "Now we're only waiting on Hidan and Kakuzu."

"They're probably lost. Idiots." The voice is young and high, but it comes from a hideous hunchbacked thing that scuttles forward and glares up at me. This, I presume, is Sasori, the one who hides himself inside a puppet.

"Or doing a Jaashin ritual." Kisame snorts and rolls his eyes.

"Or bounty-hunting." White Zetsu adds.

The member who hasn't spoken yet is a tall woman near the statue with a paper flower in her lavender hair. Kisame's right – she's not the freshest daisy on the chain, that's for sure.

I feel another presence now, in the shadows near Konan. I can only assume that _this_ is the leader of the Akatsuki. He does not step into the light, nor does he speak, but lurks quietly there.

It is a full two hours before Hidan and Kakuzu arrive. In that time, neither Konan nor the man in the shadows comes forth and the five of us are left to converse while we wait. I discover that all of us are experts in evading personal questions.

When the last two arrive, it might as well be with a fanfare of trumpets announcing their arrival. These are not the subtle type of nin, that's for sure, audible before they become visible.

"Divine judgement! That's what awaits the heathens who dare sully the name of the great Jashin with their unworthy tongues! You have not pleased him!" Someone yells.

"Enough of your crap!" A deeper voice snaps, "I got the job done and I took the money, that's all there is to it!"

"You don't just _get the job done_ , Kakuzu, you _savor_ it. _Revel_ in the pain that you inflict upon yourself and upon others. HONOR JASHIN WITH YOUR BLOOD! Greed has no place in divinity!" the first voice screams.

I can see them now; one is very tall and bulky, and the other is slim and framed by an enormous weapon in his right hand. They approach the entrance to the cave, still biting each other's heads off.

"I don't care about your stupid god!" Kakuzu snarls. Hidan looks aghast. "I'm sick and tired of hearing you rant about Jashin this and Jashin that! Will you _shut up!_ "

"I've told you not to speak his name!" Hidan screeches, "You are not worthy!"

"And _you_ are not sane!"

Orochimaru confronts them first. "Gentlemen, please, enough of your bickering."

"Yes." Sasori adds, "You've kept us waiting. I do not like to be kept waiting."

"You know what I don't like?" Hidan replies, albeit in his inside voice, "Bastardly and unfathomably greedy heretics!"

"Calm down, Hidan." Orochimaru sighs. Hidan whirls on him.

"Don't tell me to calm down, snake-ass. You know, for a guy who deals with snakes, your snake is kinda small and weak!"

Kisame snorts with laughter and Orochimaru hisses softly but ignores the comment.

"Well." Sasori comments grimly to me, "That took an unexpected turn."

"Ah, so this is the new bugger is it?" Kakuzu spots me and glides over, "Uchiha Itachi. Well, kiddo, if you ever need to make a business deal, come to old Kakuzu." His eyes are even scarier than Kisame's with their black sclera, and his breath smells of onions. I do not trust him in the least.

"Don't trust that sunnuva bitch." Hidan calls over, "He has no respect for the Great One and he's a swindler to boot – he's destined for eternal torture and believe me, pain is all well and good when it's shared, but if it's inflicted . . . not so much." Hidan comes up to me and elbows his partner out of the way. "You look like you'd make a good Jashinist, whaddya say? Don't worry, I'll follow through with the proper induction rituals. You can trust me. After all, I'm a _very_ religious man."

Hidan doesn't really seem to have all his marbles there, and I'm afraid of the storm that replying in the negative will bring on – that triple-bladed scythe looks pretty wicked – and I look around at the others, hoping someone will speak up for me. Each of them looks on with interest in silence, including Konan from her corner.

"That's alright, I'm fine as is." I say politely, "But thank you for the offer."

Hidan looks at me for several long seconds and his face cracks into a grin. "I like this guy! He's nice!" he holds out his hand. "Welcome to the cult of goddamned assholes and glad receivers of Jashin's hatred – except for me of course."

As I shake his hand his thumbnail digs into my wrist, drawing blood. Before I can snatch my hand away he's already gathered a drop of blood on his finger, which he sticks into his mouth.

"Good iron taste." Hidan nods approvingly and cackles at my slightly grossed-out expression as he turns away.

"Enough, Hidan." A deep voice emanates from the shadows under the statue, where the man I haven't seen has been waiting the whole time.

"You're probably creeping out poor Itachi." Kisame adds. Hidan seems to be offended and waves his scythe threateningly.

"Me? Creepy? Look who's calling the kettle black. Tell me, Kisame, was your mother arrested for bestiality when she birthed you or was that shit-face your punishment from the government of Kirigakure?"

 _Punishment for what?_ I wonder, as this exchange goes down.

"Watch yourself." Kisame snarls menacingly, "Lest you become shark-bait in the near future."

"Come on." Hidan whines, "I was only having a little fun." He crosses his arms sulkily.

"Let us not waste more time." Sasori cuts in. Hidan turns to him.

"Sasori, sweetheart, _must_ you wear that awful thing over your _adorable_ self? It's going to make my stomach turn. It inflicts pain upon the eyes."

"Yes." Sasori glares, "I must."

" _If_ you're finished, Hidan." Black Zetsu hisses. Hidan falls silent, as though he knows better than to mess with Black Zetsu.

It is now that the mysterious man in the shadows reveals himself to us, springing onto the thumb of one of the statue's hands. I see that he is of tall stature and has a shock of bright orange hair. His face is studded with rivet-type ornaments as he opens his arms to us.

"Welcome, Itachi. Welcome, all of you. Our meeting commences . . . now."

Each member of the organization perches on one of the fingers of the statue and I take my place on the right ring finger. As I draw closer to Pein, there seems to be something funny about his eyes. He catches my gaze and holds it, and a tingle runs down my spine . . . I thought it was only a legend.

 _Rinnegan!_

* * *

A/N: this chapter was meant to be a more lighthearted one to introduce the Akasuki and help me better identify their characters.

hope you enjoyed, please review ^^


	8. Scheming

Chapter Eight: Scheming

Let me make this clear: All the clichés that one thinks of when confronted with the words 'evil plan' . . . all the talk of taking power and killing people and the destruction of the peace.

That's real.

As the sun begins to set, Pein begins with this:

"I'll be straightforward with you all." He says, and his voice carries a tone that is not jeering like Zetsu's or playful like Hidan's or sly like Kisame's but just plain menacing. "Our next objective will be world domination. Anyone who's not interested, leave now."

Nobody makes a move to leave as Pein rakes his ringed eyes over us, and I get the feeling that it's not really a choice.

"Understand," Pein continues, "That all of you are bound to the utmost secrecy. I _will_ not tolerate traitors amongst us, do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." An answer floats from the darkness, and I think the voice is White Zetsu's.

I swallow, because I have every intention of betraying the Akatsuki and sending information into Konoha, and to be caught means instant death. And I really don't plan on dying before Sasuke's ready to kill me, and I refuse to die by any other hand than his.

"The world is a disaster." Pein states, "Fighting, corruption . . . massacre . . . you get the idea." On the word 'massacre' I swear to god he glances at me, but I dare not make eye contact, instead staring straight ahead at the face of the demonic statue.

"Hey!" Hidan's voice protests, "What's wrong with fighting and corruption and massacre?! If I didn't know you better, I'd say you were turning soft."

"Indeed." Kisame puts in, "Killing things is fun; I don't see why that needs to be stopped. After all, without death our world would quickly become overpopulated.

"It's not the _killing_ that's fun." Hidan argues, "It's the _pain_. Jashin does not approve of mercy and neither do I."

"I don't care what you approve of." Kisame replies, sharp teeth glinting in the half-light. "And for the record –"

" _Enough._ " Pein interrupts in a tired way. The two obediently quiet down although I hear Hidan muttering some derogatory names towards Kisame under his breath.

"Fighting and killing are all well and good." Pein allows, "But those lead to hatred, and hatred leads to obsession, and obsession leads to corruption, which in turn leads to more fighting and killing."

"So if it all leads to fighting and killing anyway," Hidan wonders aloud, "Why screw with the cycle?"

"Hidan, can you be patient for at least five minutes." Pein asks in a strained voice, "All will be explained. We . . . 'screw with the cycle' as you put it, because there are certain people in this world who don't know their place, and I _do_ hate arrogant people. Under our reign, there will be order in this world. All the fighting and killing you want and all the pain as long as you retain order and as long as we remain in power."

"What kind of profits are involved here?" Kakuzu's deep rumble cuts through the complete darkness that nightfall has cast us into.

"Profits?" Pein asks, "Power, supremacy, and glory. What more do you need?"

"Money."

"Believe me, there will be money involved."

"I'm all for world domination." Sasori says, "But let's cut to the chase and hear how this whole scheme is going to be pulled off."

"So like you Sasori, impatient young one, as always." Pein remarks, "We begin by taking ordinary missions in small ninja villages. I don't care what rank they are or what you have to do. The only requirement is that you take them for a low price and provide good quality work – get the job done well and quickly."

"Low price?!" Kakuzu sounds incredulous. "We'll never be able to support the organization!"

"Extra wealth is not an issue." Pein replies dismissively, "People like me have . . . connections. As I was saying, we take these jobs at a low price until people heavily rely on us for missions because of our good track record and affordable price. Pretty soon, we rival the five Great Shinobi villages in terms of power. Phase Two." His voice takes on a darker tone. "The difficult part. We collect all nine of the Tailed Beasts. The beasts are key players in the plan; they will be used to enforce power. We start a war amongst shinobi through some simple misunderstanding – it's easy, it happens all the time. And then at the end of the day when all is lost, who step in but the Akatsuki. We pick a side and use the beasts to wipe out the opponents. People will fear us, fear the beasts. People will _support_ us for our domination of the shinobi market. Pretty soon the Great Villages won't stand a chance. And if they decide that they want war . . . well, we'll have the Tailed Beasts on our side." He finishes softly.

It occurs to me that Pein never really explained his motivation for this plan, and I have to wonder if he's really that power-hungry or whether there is something he's not telling us. But as a newcomer and a young kid, it's not my place to question him.

I realize that Pein is probably the most dangerous man I know. But then, that's to be expected considering his position as the leader. People like Hidan and Orochimaru and Kisame are insane, but Pein is an insane man who appeals to logic, which is a lot worse.

There are murmurs of general consent to the plan, with Zetsu being the most supportive (he kind of strikes me as a bit of a suck-up). An hour and a half is given towards questions and details of the plan; things like jinchuriki assignments and time frames.

I imagine what it would be like if I were an outsider that were to suddenly walk in on us. To discover nine of the world's evilest humans conducting a meeting in the pitch darkness, all of whom are accomplished enough to sense your presence and murder you as easily as squashing an ant . . . terrifying.

When the meeting is over, I'm eager to get out into the fresh air, away from that dark cave. Another heated argument starts up (with Hidan in the center of things, as usual) while I make my way outside.

I've only just stepped outside the cave when another person appears in the entrance behind me, stepping delicately out of the gloom.

"Itachi." Konan says. I have to admit, this takes me a little by surprise. She didn't open her mouth throughout the entire conference, and Kisame told me he'd never heard her speak.

"Itachi." She says again, a little more urgently. And although her eyes are too close together and her chin is kinda big and her makeup is awful, her voice is quiet and sweet; it almost reminds me of Mother's. But I force my thoughts away from Mother and where that will inevitably lead.

"Konan." I reply politely.

"Take a walk with me . . . please."

* * *

A/N: no, there is not going to be any romance between Itachi and Konan. And no, I do not hate her because I made her ugly. I'm only appealing to the realistic fact that (contrary to what the anime/manga style would have us believe) all women are not beautiful.

hope you enjoyed, please review!


	9. Walk

Chapter Nine: Walk

The crickets are loud in the night as Konan and I walk through the forest. We're in the Fire Country, though many miles from Konoha, but the great oaks and beech trees surrounding me are comforting.

We walk in silence for a few moments before Konan speaks again. "The crickets are nice, aren't they?"

I find them kind of annoying myself, but I humor her. "I suppose so."

"May I ask you a personal question?"

"You may." I say, "But there's no guarantee that I'll answer it." If she wants details about the massacre, the walls are going to go up and she might as well talk to a rock.

A flicker of a smile appears on Konan's face. "That's the kind of thing Nagato would say."

"Who?" I ask.

Konan blinks like she'd forgotten my presence for a second. "Oh, nobody." We continue on and I guess she also forgot about that personal question she was going to ask because she doesn't ask it. I hop over a fallen tree in my path and Konan seems surprised.

"Someone like Kisame or Kakuzu would have destroyed that log." She says quietly. "You didn't."

"Neither did you." I point out. Konan's face hardens like she's offended by this, and with a wave of her arm she sends several bits of paper whirling towards the fallen tree. The paper cuts it to ribbons and it falls in evenly cut circular sections to the ground.

I have to wonder what kind of point she's trying to make by that as Konan's arm disappears once more inside the sleeve of her Akatsuki coat.

"What did you think of Pein?" She asks me, and I am aware that this could be a test of my allegiance to the group.

"He's certainly ambitious." I answer, not pointing out that I also think he's insane and incredibly dangerous.

Konan pauses before she replies.

"I think you and him are more alike than you know . . . After all," she adds quietly, "You're both willing to do whatever it takes to maintain the peace."

With this, Konan begins to peel away in small slips of paper until I am standing alone in the forest. I shiver, and I'm not sure whether it's because she thinks Pein wants peace or because she knew what _really_ happened in Konoha.

Strangely, I find that I'm not all that surprised that she knows; people in general have a knack for finding out things they shouldn't, and ninja are particularly adept at it. But because she does know, she could reveal it to the wrong people at any time she chooses. Thus, I am at her mercy.

"Ah, there you are." Kisame says upon my return, "I was starting to get a little worried about you." He is the only one standing outside the cave; everyone else seems to have left.

"I was taking a walk." I tell him.

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"Ah." Says Kisame, like he doesn't believe me but isn't going to push it. He hands me a sheet of paper that he digs from his pocket. "Pein gave all of us a mission to start off with. Guess where we're headed?"

"Last seen in . . . Machi." I read on the mission sheet. "Never heard of it." On the paper there is most prominently the picture of a sullen-looking man and a large sum of Ryo offered in reward for his head.

"It's a town on the same archipelago as Kirigakure." Kisame smiles, but somehow the shark-toothed grin seems a little uneasy, though I can tell he's trying not to let it show.

"It's like eleven-thirty. We should find a place to spend the night." I note, looking at the moon. It's just a slim crescent tonight; Sasuke always called it a 'fingernail moon' because it looked like the white part of his fingernail. I smile, wondering what he's doing tonight. Probably asleep.

Then I have to wonder if anyone took him in or if he's living by himself. _I'm sure the Hokage made sure he's alright._ I tell myself.

"What're you smiling for?" Kisame asks, "That's unusual."

"Nothing." I say, burying my Itachi face again.

* * *

A/N: sorry about the short chapter... but for the next couple weeks I think i'll only be able to update on the weekends, sorry ;-;


	10. Machi

Chapter Ten: Machi

It takes us two weeks on foot to get to Machi, and I watch the landscape turn from the familiar forests of home to the cold, damp, and marshy land of the Water Country. My feet are constantly sloshing through watery field plains, or else submerged in mud up to my ankles.

Machi, we discover, is a quaint fishing village on an island near Kirigakure, and it is permeated throughout by pale tendrils of mist that wind their way around me and dampen the clothes on my body.

"Have you seen this man?" I ask the fifth person today, holding up the picture of the man we're to be hunting. For the fifth time, I get a grumble and a shake of the head, and Kisame and I slink away to the next villager.

It's an hour before we get a lead. We've happened upon a shop with peeling paint and an aging sign that reads "Ganachi's Odds and Ends – a Knick-Knack for Every Occasion!" Inside the store is every little trinket or piece of junk you can imagine; Kisame stops to poke at a propeller hat and run his hand across the wind-chime collection and an array of tinkling notes clash at once. I even spot a few shrunken heads behind the counter.

A tabby cat wanders in and leaps onto the counter. It stares at Akaime for a moment, and then meows loudly towards the right before nonchalantly beginning to clean between its toes to make sure we know how inferior we are. Akaime hisses but the cat takes no notice.

After several moments, an ancient old wrinkly thing that looks more walnut than human hobbles from the direction the cat meowed in. The walnut squints at us.

"Buy or sell?" She asks in a wavering voice.

"I'm sorry?" I wonder aloud.

"Buy or sell, buy or sell?" she repeats, "Which have you come for? Get _off_ the counter, you floppy old beanbag, don't get fur all over creation." With a poke of the cane and a meow of complaint the cat is forced off the counter and skulks away behind a shelf of ratty encyclopedias.

"Neither, actually." I explain, holding up the picture. "We were only wondering if this man had come in recently?"

"Hnnnn I'm afraid we don't deal in men, dear, nor women either. They do _that_ in the next village over."

Kisame snickers and I blink, surprised and unsure what to say. The walnut wheezes with laughter. "I'm only playin with ya, boy. Let me see that man – oh, where'd I put my specs." She pats around on the counter until she finds her glasses, which she fumbles with before fixing on her face. Upon catching sight of Kisame clearly, she jumps. "Hoo! That's not a man ya got there, that's a feesh!"

"Not that one." I hold out the paper. "This one."

The walnut turns her attention to the man on the paper she stares at it for several long moments.

"Oh, I do remember him! Came in here not too long ago lookin for . . . oh, what'd he say? The relic . . . the relic . . ."

"The Relic of the Mistings?" Kisame supplies. The old woman nods.

"Yeah, yeah, that was it. Relic of the Mistings."

"And did you sell it to him?" Kisame asks carefully.

"I never heard of it, let alone sell it to him." She replies with a shrug.

Kisame nods. "I didn't think so." He glances at me. "Thank you, you've been quite helpful. But I think we'll be leaving now."

"Wait!" I say, "Did he mention where he was headed?"

"I know where he's headed." Kisame answers as he turns towards the door, "Let's go, Itachi."

There's a sharp intake of breath behind us when Kisame says my name, and we both turn.

"Something wrong?" Kisame asks the walnut with his Danzo smile.

The old lady can't stop glancing at me. "Nothing." She insists, then looks at the cat. "Come on, Mitsu, it's feeding time. Thank ya for stopping by, gentlemen."

The cat stops washing and watches Kisame, then slinks under the counter.

I think I know what's going on. The way she's looking at me with frightened eyes and trying not to show it. "If you've heard anything about what Uchiha Itachi has done," I narrow my eyes, "I suggest you keep your mouth shut about this little encounter, or your cat won't have anyone to feed him." I'd never really kill her, but she doesn't know that. The old woman nods with wide eyes.

"She'll keep her mouth shut." Kisame grins, "I'll make sure of that."

Before I can stop him, Kisame has made three hand signs and holds out his right palm towards her. A high-speed jet of water forms from his hand and pokes a clean hole right through her neck at the base of her chin. Right before she falls, her eyes catch mine, pleading, begging.

Just like theirs.

When I killed them.

All.

When the old woman slumps to the floor, Kisame opens the door and I force myself to walk out with him.

"You shouldn't have done that." I tell him coldly. Kisame pauses, and if he had eyebrows I swear he'd lift one.

"Why not?"

 _Because I was beginning to think you were alright!_ I scream inside my head. "Because now Machi's criminal justice forces will be after us."

He laughs. "Don't freak out, Itachi. It's not like they're sending ninja after us – or are you _afraid_ of the police?"

"Unnecessary death is risky." I point out, "Especially if we're trying to stay under the radar."

"Be glad I killed her." Kisame answers, "You wouldn't have wanted her to squeal on you, because then we'd have nin on the lookout for you everywhere for the next year maybe. And where we're going, you don't want shinobi on Itachi-watch. Besides, you'll have plenty of opportunities to practice staying under the radar."

"And where _are_ we going exactly?"

Again, Kisame gets that little uneasy twinge in his voice, though he tries to hide it. "We're going into the heart of Kirigakure."


	11. Layers

Chapter Eleven: Layers

For a while, I'd begun to think that maybe the Akatsuki weren't so bad after all, that maybe some of them were like me . . . with more layers than just 'mass murderer'. Konan was kind to me, and she seemed to have high hopes for Pein as well. Sasori is only fifteen. Kisame is crude, but he has a way with Akaime, and I suppose that made me start to trust him. I forgot my place. Namely, that amongst a band of horrific human beings.

In Kisame's case, not even human but a cold, wet, slimy fish. He _looks_ human right now because we're using Transformation Jutsu as our disguise, but underneath that picture of a dark-haired man I know I'll find blue skin and gills and serrated teeth.

I miss my Akatsuki coat – it felt protective, despite the darkness that it stood for. But now I'm wearing the plain homemade clothes of a villager whose form I stole.

Kisame's getting fidgety as we near the gate – Kiri is his village of origin and it's understandable that he fears recognition. There are plenty of shinobi that can detect a simple Transformation Jutsu if they want to, although actually identifying the user is extremely difficult.

"State your name and purpose!" a chunin guard calls from inside the hut at the gate.

"Miyoki Boichi, and Miyoki Fukuto." I offer.

The guard glances at us. "You're brothers?" he asks in a bored tone.

"Yes." _Never_.

"Purpose?"

"Both rare book dealers. We heard there was huge sale in one of the shops." _Both notorious criminals. We heard there's a wanted man running around in your village and we're going to kill him._

"Alright, you're through." The guard allows us through the gate and I glimpse Akaime landing on the roof. He's there as a precautionary measure.

Kisame and I take the first right we come to, and after about four minutes Akaime returns. "Well?" I ask him, looking into Shisui's eye. I allow Akaime to put a genjutsu on me, though I instinctually fight any type of mind invasion. Through the genjutsu, he relays to me what he's seen.

 _The guard pushes a button to unlock the gate. "Alright, you're through."_

 _He waits until we are out of earshot and then lifts a radio that was hooked to his flak jacket._

 _"_ _I've got a pair using Transformation Jutsu heading east on Takoshi Street posing as brothers named Miyoki. One dark-haired, one fair-haired, about five eleven and five nine respectively, both wearing plain brown shirts. Can you get someone on them?"_

 _There's a pause and then a crackle of static before a voice can be heard clearly. "Roger that, Saki's on her way."_

 _"_ _Great . . . you got takeout for lunch, right?"_

Here the genjutsu ends and I return to my own mind, inadvertently glimpsing behind me for any sign of pursuers. There are plently of shinobi on the streets of Kiri but none of them seems to be fixed on us. I'm sure it won't be long, though.

"That guard saw through our Transformations." I pass on to Kisame, "I can't believe you didn't mention the fact that Kiri uses guards who detect that jutsu."

He shrugs. "It's been a long time since I've been here; things have changed. Besides, I never worked in the village security department."

"At any rate he's sending someone after us so we better ditch these disguises." I try to find someone on the street whose appearance I can copy. At a dango stand is a young couple in line, and I point them out to Kisame. "Those two."

He nods and we both perform the jutsu after slipping into a dark corner where we won't be seen, stuffing our pockets and waistbands with our own shuriken and kunai. Just in case.

Kisame begins to laugh and I glance at him – both of us have transformed into the man of the couple. I almost chuckle too but then I remember the walnut woman and I quickly wipe the smile off my face.

"You have to be the lady." Kisame smirks, "You're more girly than me."

"Why can't _you_ be the lady?" I argue, crossing my arms.

"No way."

I scowl. "Fine." I quickly turn myself into the slim, blond girl and we emerge from the corner we were hiding in. Unfortunately, our path is blocked by a very young woman in a Kiri flak jacket.

"Can I help you . . . gentleman?" she asks, looking at me because I'm the lady here.

"No thank you, we can find our own way." I say politely, hoping that there's still a chance that she's not the one that was sent after us. My voice comes out high and squeaky and I barely manage to keep from cringing.

The kunoichi steps closer. "I hope you know that the use of Transformation Jutsu to gain access into Kirigakure is illegal."

Quick as a flash, Kisame sends a kunai at her forehead, which she deflects easily. I leap backwards down an empty alleyway – if there's going to be a fight it needs to be in a place where there are no people. Our disguises will dissipate at a blow, and the fewer number of people there are to recognize us, the fewer we have to kill.

Kisame and I are both in foreign bodies in a place that Kisame may or may not recognize depending on how much has changed in his absence. On top of this, we are maintaining a jutsu that requires chakra control and finesse, and I have lost the use of my greatest asset – the Sharingan.

Even the two of us together are finding it hard to draw her away from the village while dodging attacks and trying not to make a scene. Luckily, we are near the edge of the village and we make our way into an open meadow.

I check out the chakra nature of the girl at the dango stand – if it's Fire, Water, or Lightning I'll be able to use my own jutsu.

She's an Earth type.

 _Great._ I scowl to myself, _I don't know how to manipulate Earth chakra._ It means I'm confined to E-rank jutsu that doesn't require nature transformation; mostly amateur stuff they teach in the academy.

"Can we switch bodies?" I ask Kisame meekly, "I can't work with this lady's chakra."

"Nope." He laughs at my struggle. "You're an S-class missing nin – you can figure it out for yourself. Isn't that right, Akaime?"

Akaime clacks his tongue in my ear and I realize that I can still use Sharingan through him.

"Go on." I launch him from my shoulder "Get that kunoichi." If Akaime manages to use Kotoamatsukami on her, then we can rewrite her memory to forget she ever saw us instead of killing her.

Even as I think it, I know that won't fly with Kisame. He likes to kill – he said it himself. Chances of this woman's survival are quite slim at this point.

By now she's caught up with us and is throwing Fire Release jutsu our way, which I can only dodge. Akaime panics at the flames and backs away, out of dojutsu range.

Kisame tries a Water Release, but misjudges the strength of his body's chakra and his attack falls short of the kunoichi, who is speeding closer.

I rack my brain for an academy jutsu that would be actually useful. Judging from her skill, this is at least a jonin that we're up against, maybe even part of a special-task force dedicated to securing Kiri. She'd easily see through a regular clone jutsu, and I'm not agile enough in this form to pull off a Substitution, which would only distract her for a millisecond anyway. I could transform into her or Kisame and use Fire or Water Release, but that would take time and leave me vulnerable to attack during the actual transformation.

Maybe she senses that Akaime's bad news, because she's keeping him well at a distance. Finally, he gives up and perches on a tree limb to preen his feathers. Which means the whole genjutsu deal is up to me.

As I dodge shuriken and think about genjutsu strategy, Kisame is plagued with a hail of flaming senbon. He deflects a few and dodges some, but a follow-up kunai catches him just under the collarbone. Immediately, the Transformation Jutsu is dispelled and he appears himself again, gills and all. His face contorts in pain for only a moment as he wrenches the knife from his body at throws it back at the kunoichi, hardly even fazed.

There's the chink of metal on metal as she knocks away the bloody kunai.

" _YOU!"_ The word is shrilly screamed and blazing with fury.

Kisame looks up. "I'm sorry," he wonders idly, "Do I know you?"

"By the time I'm finished with you, you'll wish you didn't." she snarls, using her kunai to point at his face.

It's the perfect time to genjutsu her; all her attention is on Kisame and I could easily get her under my thumb. But curiosity stops me. I stand by quietly, hoping not to be noticed.

"Hmmm . . . you do look familiar." Kisame says. He's playing around, and all of us know it. "Tell me your name again?"

Her glare hardens. "My name is Akamitsu Sakina. Does any part of that ring a bell, Hoshigaki?"

Kisame's toothy grin falters slightly, and he is uncharacteristically silent.

"Shall I remind you about other people named Akamitsu?" Sakina asks coldly. "Shall I remind you how you murdered your _entire squad?_ "

This piques my interest. So this is Kisame's background – wanted for murder of comrades. Figures.

"I had reasons." Is his only reply as he shifts on his feet. Clearly, he's unsettled.

"You know what it's like to wait _days_ for someone who means the world to you to come home . . . and the anxiety just eats at you?" Sakina pauses to snort, and as she speaks she walks in circles around Kisame. "I guess you wouldn't. You don't love anyone. But I waited _forever_ for my sister to come back and she's still. Gone. She didn't come back. Should I remind you about that part as well?"

Kisame scowls but says nothing, so she continues.

"She didn't come back because was _dead._ She was _murdered_ by someone she should have been able to trust without question – her own comrade!"

"I told you," Kisame replies, "I had reasons."

"There is _no_ reason," Sakina snaps, "To kill someone who trusts you."

I swallow hard as I remember the feel of my Mother's arms around me for the last time. _"We love you, Itachi. So much."_

My parents trusted me to do the right thing. Did I?

"Enough." Kisame growls, reaching for his sword. I've heard stories about Samehada, but never seen it in action. It's Kisame's treasured possession, and pulling it out means business.

"Yes, enough." Sakina agrees, and yanks one of the kunai in her tool pouch. Kisame hisses in pain as he is bound by nearly invisible wire. The whole time she was monologuing, she was dropping the wire in circles around him, and she was so slick that neither of us caught her at it. Then she used the kunai attached to it to pull it tight around him. Ninja wire is strong stuff – even Kisame would have a hard time breaking out of it.

In a flash, Sakina is behind Kisame with a blade to his throat.

"I hope you know," she says menacingly, "That you're a kill-on-sight target." She draws the blade across his neck, but light enough that she only slices the skin. Blood beads at the cut, the bright red contrasting against his blue color. Kisame's nose twitches at the smell of his own blood. I'd like to think it's involuntary.

"Let's see." Sakina grins, "Would you prefer incineration . . . or blood loss?"

Kisame glances at me and then quickly away, like he knows he needs help but doesn't want to admit it.

It's up to me. As it is, I have two options. I can save Kisame or let him die.

He deserves it. He really does. He murdered the walnut lady without a second thought, and from what I've heard, he'd kill his own comrades, too, which doesn't bode well for me. If our positions were reversed, I'm sure he'd leave me for dead.

But when I think about it, the conversation regarding the murders bothered him enough that he failed to notice even a simple wire trap. And Akaime likes him, which has to count for something . . .

Sakina's free hand clasps the katana behind her shoulder – that's a weapon meant for killing. It's now or never.

I hesitate for only a second, and then I release my Transformation Jutsu and regain my own body, which is a lot more comfortable. Sakina shifts her eyes to me at the sudden movement and I catch her gaze, easily trapping her in a genjutsu.

She drops the katana and the kunai that's attached to her ninja wire. It falls slack around Kisame. I can feel her subconscious fighting the genjutsu, but she's absolutely no match and she remains staring vacantly ahead of her.

Kisame sighs very lightly and puts his palm to her forehead. He fires the same jutsu he used on the walnut lady at point-blank range, but this time he looks away and he does not smile. Sakina stops fighting my genjutsu and falls to the ground face-first. He squats and makes several handsigns, ending with Tiger – a Fire jutsu. Her body disintegrates into ash.

"To destroy information." Kisame explains.

"Cremation," I correct.

I hold my tongue and don't protest the killing; this was something that had to be done if we are to complete our mission in Kiri. Kotoamatsukami is risky anyway because we don't know Kiri's general protocol to deal with intruders, and we'd risk inaccuracy by rewriting her memory.

"We should leave the village tonight," Kisame suggests, "and let things settle down in the next few hours. We can try again in the morning."

I nod in agreement and Akaime returns to my shoulder with the ruffle of wings and shifting of claws as we head away from Kiri, sloshing through the marsh.

* * *

A/N: in some ways, I think this story is turning out to be as much about Kisame as it is about Itachi.

hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!


	12. Haunted

A/N: I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. Aren't you proud of me?

* * *

Chapter Twelve: Haunted

 _Everything I see is a shade of dark. No stars, no moon, no light. Dark. And cold. And silent. Loud, crushing, silence._

 _I stand alone on the main road through the Uchiha sector, feeling very small in a vacant place. Just me._

 _In my peripheral vision the houses lining the street seem to twist upwards. They shimmer as though they are leaning to whisper to one another as they watch me with hollow windowed eyes. I panic and I run, my feet pounding against the pavement like thunder and my breath coming in ragged gasps._

 _Suddenly, a person materializes in the road ahead of me. He is smiling but he has no eyes, just holes framed with dried blood. Shisui opens his mouth to say something, but no sound comes out._

 _"_ _What?" I hold a hand to my ear. "I can't hear you."_

 _Shisui takes no notice but continues to talk animatedly for a minute. Then he throws back his head and laughs soundlessly until Akaime swoops down from the sky and lifts him by the back of the shirt. Together, they fly away. Smaller and smaller and smaller._

 _Next appear my parents, supporting each other and wearing sallow, haggard faces. Both of them clutch messy wounds in their chests._

 _"_ _You coward." My father rasps, and this I hear loud and clear. "Don't you_ ever _call yourself my son again." He reaches out with his bloody hand and backhands me across the face, only I feel nothing – his hand passes right through me as if I'm not here._

 _"_ _Where have you been?" Mother asks incredulously, "I smell blood on you."_

 _I point at her wound with a shaky finger. "You're the bloody one, Mother."_

 _Her brow furrows. "That's ridiculous, I can't be bloody. I don't_ smell _like blood."_

 _"_ _No, Mother." I reply, because she doesn't._

 _"_ _I always knew you were an odd one." She frowns and shakes her head, and both my parents fade away before my eyes._

 _"_ _Nicely done!" someone else calls from behind me. I whip around to find long, black hair and a mask with one eyehole. Madara._

 _"_ _Victory tastes pretty good, eh?" he offers triumphantly. I roll my tongue in my mouth but taste only bitterness and sorrow._

 _And then another voice from the spot Mother and Father were at. "Nii-san," a watery tremble and a large sniff, "_ Please _will you teach me shuriken jutsu?"_

 _I try to turn my body to face Sasuke but I'm rooted to the spot like a stone. Madara steps closer. "No, no." he says, "Don't turn around. Don't look that way. Look at_ me! I'm _your brother now."_

 _Madara clamps a hand on my shoulder in what is possibly meant to be a gesture of comradery. He leans forward to whisper in my ear._

 _"_ _After all," he breathes, "We're the same, you and I."_

 _And then Madara's body twists upwards and all the houses loom over me and everything swirls together in a clump of orange, single-eyed mask._

I snap awake in my sleeping bag, eyes wide and heart pounding, but I stay still and silent in the way that all ninja are trained. For a moment, I'm not sure where I am, and then I remember how we decided that we shouldn't stay in the village, so we found a small cave in a cliff face in which to spend the night.

The crashing of waves is loud, drowning out the remnants of Sasuke's sniffles lingering in my ears. I feel like this hollow in the cliff is at the edge of the world, and everything I know lies behind me.

Through the mouth of the cave I see half sea and half sky, though part of the moonlight is obscured by a dark silhouette, sitting with his elbows on his knees and watching the water.

Pushing all thoughts of the Uchiha from my mind, I roll over and deepen my breathing, hoping that the nightmares are finished for tonight.

…..

Itachi was awake. Kisame heard him roll over in his sleeping bag and the jagged breathing that he was trying to stifle. He knew the sound – Itachi had probably had a nightmare. Well, everyone had to take one for the Team of Evil Murdurers, he supposed. Kisame had certainly had his share of them . . . not in a long while though.

He poked his tongue against his teeth, feeling the sharp points. It was a subconscious thing that he did out of agitation . . . that hadn't happened in a long while, either . . .

….

 _"_ _Why do you do that?"_

 _The voice was just curious, nothing more. Kisame pulled his tongue away from his teeth._

 _"_ _Do what?"_

 _"_ _You're doing something with your tongue." She pointed to her own mouth. "What is it?"_

 _"_ _I'm not doing anything." He glared and turned his face away. She was looking at his teeth, which he didn't like because he was self-conscious about them. It wasn't_ his _fault – they'd always grown sharp and serrated._

 _"_ _Leave him alone, Miru." The fat man says, "He doesn't wanna talk. Jesus, he wouldn't even give you the time of day if you asked."_

 _"_ _It's wartime; you can never be too careful." The baldie replied, "If he doesn't want to talk, that's fine. Better than him blabbing our codes to everyone we meet."_

 _Kisame narrowed his eyes. "I may not work in Central Intelligence, but I'm not_ stupid _." He hissed, "I know your precious codes are more important than your lives."_

 _The short one harrumphed. "Fine bodyguard you are."_

 _"_ _I was ordered to guard the codes." Kisame said, "Not you."_

 _"_ _But we have the codes." The fat one pointed out, "So you have to guard us."_

 _Kisame scowled._

 _Later, as they were travelling through the trees, the short man glanced sideways at Kisame. "Is it true," he asked, "That you graduated the academy through the Bloody Mist Practice?"_

 _Miru's eyes widened. "You mean when they made the academy students kill each other to see who was the strongest? That's . . . nauseating! You really did that?!"_

 _Her horrified tone bothered him – did she think badly of him for wanting to survive? He'd only been unlucky; the practice had been stopped the year after his graduation in order to produce more shinobi for the budding war._

 _"_ _I did what I had to." Kisame replied defensively, "Any of you would have done the same. Besides," he added, addressing the bald one, "You're old. Didn't you do it too?"_

 _"_ _I'm not_ that _old. Only forty." Baldie answered with irritation, "And when I immigrated to Kiri, I was already a shinobi. I never went to the academy."_

 _Miru was still watching Kisame with a slightly appalled expression, whether she was aware of it or not._

 _Kisame turned his head to glare at her. "What?" he asked coldly._

 _"_ _I can't believe they'd make you murder your friends." She shook her head. Kisame silently dared her to continue._ And that you'd actually do it.

 _"_ _I don't have friends." He muttered, "They're a liability."_

 _._

 _There was no meat._

 _"_ _There's no meat." Kisame grumbled, rooting through the bag of dried provisions and instant foods._

 _"_ _It's war." Baldie answered with a yawn, "Meat is expensive. And rationed."_

 _Kisame flopped an asparagus glumly back and forth in the firelight – he really hated vegetables, and asparagus was the worst. He was a programmed carnivore, and the closest thing they had to meat was a bag of smelly tuna flakes that looked suspiciously like it was meant for cats._

 _The fat nin had begun to recount a story related to food, and Kisame glanced around at each of the others. Only Miru really seemed to care about the story – Shorty was making snide comments and Baldie was laughing at them. None of them spared a second glance for Kisame. Not even Miru, who had been kind to him before._

 _Who was he to think he had a place here, being snarky with the best of them . . .? Because being snarky was about the only think Kisame was good at besides killing things, and somehow he didn't think Miru approved of killing things._

 _Not that it mattered what Miru thought. She was nothing special. Just some stupid Central Intelligence girl._

 _Kisame got to his feet and, taking his asparagus with him, melted away to lean against a tree several yards away. No-one seemed to notice his leaving. Distanced from the warmth of the fire, he shivered in the chilly mist-ridden air, and he shredded the asparagus with his shark teeth, wincing as it stuck in his mouth like a nasty, slimy, greenish, vegetable._

 _He remembered Fuguki's words to him days ago._ "Do whatever you must to protect the codes! They could change the course of the war! The codes are more important than you can imagine." _Fuguki had leaned forward to hold Kisame's gaze._ "More important, even, than the lives of those who know them. Understood?"

 _"_ _Understood." Kisame whispered to himself. It was unlikely that the codes would be taken with four chunin and one jonin protecting them, but it was clear that Fuguki cared nothing for the life of Miru or the others. If it came to sacrificing them for protection of the codes, Kisame wasn't sure he'd be able to let that happen, not after enduring the Blood-Mist Practice . . ._

 _"_ _What are you doing here by yourself?"_

 _Kisame turned to find Miru standing behind him, and nearly dropped his plate of asparagus._

 _"_ _Aren't you cold?" she asked._

 _"_ _No." He lied. Getting cold was for wimps._

 _Miru did not mention the goosebumps on his arms. "You should come and eat with the rest of us." she tipped her head slightly. "Please?"_

 _"_ _No."_

 _"_ _Hashirou found a bit of jerky inside his jacket pocket. I'm sure he'd give you some." She offered._

 _Kisame considered. The promise of meat was enticing . . . but there was no way he was begging food off another man, and besides, Kisame liked to be contradictory for the hell of it._

 _"_ _No." he said, and returned to his vegetable._

 _"_ _Why not?"_

 _Kisame poked his tongue against his teeth. "Leave me alone. I'm just the fuckin bodyguard."_

 _Miru waited for a moment, and then turned back towards the fire. "We're all shinobi." She reminded him, before returning to the voices and warmth of the others._

 _._

 _The first ambush came at dawn the next morning. Twelve Suna nin leaping from the undergrowth all at once._

 _Kisame had killed one before anyone else had a chance to move. Two more Suna nin fell on him with shuriken whirling – he stabbed one in the neck and kicked the other against a tree where he lay unmoving._

 _By now, the others were on their feet. Baldie and Fatty were working together against a puppeteer and Shorty was in the process of impaling someone. Miru was being ganged up on by three nin, and dueling all of them bravely but with obvious difficulty; one of them cut her across the cheek and another on her back. Kisame took out two others on his way to her. There was the sound of gushing water as Shorty performed a jutsu, combined with the chattering of puppets._

 _Kisame cut down all three of the nin surrounding Miru with ease as she wiped the blood off her face with her sleeve, only to have it drip again._

 _"_ _Thanks," she breathed, then her eyes widened as she caught sight of something over his shoulder. "Behind you!" she lunged forward and stabbed with her kunai under Kisame's arm. Then her face took on a horrified and surprised expression, and Kisame turned._

 _Miru had fatally wounded a child-nin who had been about to attack Kisame, stabbing him in the gut. Still alive and fully aware, he looked at her with tears welling in his eyes and blood pouring from the wound. Miru, made a strangled noise, and even Kisame was moved to pity for the child._

 _She knelt on the ground and took the dying child into her arms. "Just a kid." Her voice cracked and tears rolled down her face as the boy struggled for breath. He looked to be maybe nine or ten, chest heaving and face contorted in pain._

 _"_ _Sora!" someone screamed; a Suna nin who had seen the boy fall. She charged, face a mixture of grief and rage, lifting her katana to bring it down on Miru's head. Kisame blocked the blow, leaning over Miru and the boy. Three slashes was all it took; the kunochi fell to the ground with a thud._

 _She was the last of them; all was quiet, the ground was littered with bodies, weapons, and blood. The rest of the Cypher Division huddled around Miru. When Kisame glanced back down at the Suna boy, his body was still, his eyes glassy and unseeing._

 _Miru closed his eyelids and whispered something under her breath that may have been a prayer. Wiping her tears, she lay him on the ground and got to her feet. "We should bury them."_

 _Baldie shook his head. "No time. There could be more – we have to leave as quickly as possible."_

 _The sun was breaking the horizon as the Cypher Division got their things together and took off through the forest._

 _._

 _Kisame was eating by himself again. He was surprised that some jerky had been saved for him, but still felt he didn't belong in a group telling stories by the firelight, and so had skulked away again. And again Miru approached him, and this time, she brought her own supper._

 _"_ _Um, thanks for saving me today."_

 _Kisame looked up, and then back down again. "Yeah . . . don't think you're special or anything." He answered a little defensively. A gentleman would have thanked her for saving him from the child-nin as well, but Kisame wasn't a gentleman._

 _"_ _Of course not." She smiled a little. "Are you sure you don't want to eat with us?"_

 _"_ _Very sure."_

 _At this, Miru sat down beside him at the base of the tree. She smelled mostly of sweat and blood, but then, so did everyone else._

 _"_ _What are you doing?" Kisame blinked pretty stupidly._

 _"_ _I'm going to eat with you. So you're not all alone." She picked up her disposable wooden chopsticks and plunged them into her instant noodles. As she leaned forward to eat, she winced almost imperceptibly._

 _"_ _Hey – what's the matter?"_

 _"_ _Hm?" Miru wondered, "Oh, I got a little scratch on my back, that's all. But it's fine. Don't worry, I won't slow us down."_

 _"_ _And the one on your face?" If Kisame had been thinking clearly, he wouldn't have reached over and brushed her hair back so he could see the cut. He inspected it in the dim light and frowned; the wound was deeper than he'd thought, and there was a lot of dried blood around it._

 _"_ _It's fine." She gently pushed his hand away._

 _"_ _No, no." he protested, "You should put a bandage on it. Hold on, I have some here." Kisame rooted around in his bag until he triumphantly produced a roll of bandages and some gauze._

 _Miru made to take the supplies from him, but he pointed to her noodles. "You eat," he commanded, "I'll do it."_

….

Sitting on the edge of the cliff, Kisame watched the waves roiling below. Such a long, long, time ago that had been. It really only been about six years, but it seemed so far away that it might be part of a different lifetime.

Ah, well. It didn't do to dwell on the past. That had been a different time, a different Kisame. And what might have been had not been, so he might as well forget about it, and forget about her.

* * *

A/N: So what did you think of the dream? Kisame POV? Miru? I intend to complete Kisame's story later in another flashback. but I think writing Kisame falling for someone was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I really wanted to show two sides to Kisame, that's why I gave him a flashback instead of dictating it to Itachi. Not to mention that he'd never dictate that to Itachi in the first place.

pls don't think badly of me for writing about dying children ;-; I didn't want to, but realism and detail are very important to me in a story and it was mentioned in Naruto that children were used as soldiers during the 3rd ninja war. and Team Minato was only 13.


	13. Beast

Chapter Thirteen: Beast

I miss Konoha. In Kiri, the air smells of salt and every day is cold and wet and foggy without fail. It's August, but I have to wear my Akatsuki coat to stay comfortable, whereas at home, I'd be parading around in nothing but mesh armor in the heat. But I can't call Konoha my home anymore; it's unlikely that I'll ever be able to return.

Kisame and I tramp through the marsh back into Kiri, and this time, we don't take the main road, which is the only way for a foreigner to enter. There's an intangible wall surrounding Kiri, just as there is in Konoha, and it detects unauthorized entries into the village. However, the walls are only so high, and village is not protected from above in the belief that an airdrop invasion is easily noticeable, a hugely erroneous misconception, especially in regards to a Konoha Anbu.

"How does that help you in the least?" Kisame asks skeptically when I point this out, "You still can't go dropping from the sky and expect nobody to notice."

"A _human_ can't." I allow, "But other things can." I call Akaime to my shoulder and he obediently flaps down. "Konoha Anbu are taught a traditional forbidden technique of the village – the Shapeshifting jutsu."

"If it's forbidden, why do they teach it to you?"

I shrug, because that's a question I've never known the answer to. "The Shadow-Clone jutsu is also forbidden, but I daresay there are more jonin who can produce one than can't. Anyway, the Shapeshifting jutsu is the transition from human to animal and back. You do need a bit of blood to get started, but the hand seals are simple – Rat, Monkey, Tiger, Dog. And as long as you have a visual reference," I gesture to Akaime, "It requires very little chakra."

"Sounds practical," Kisame concedes, "Seems a waste to forbid it."

"It's forbidden," I explain, "Because of one major catch: The longer you stay in an animal's form, the more your mind fuses with theirs until you lose sight of your purpose and forget who you are, taking on all the tendencies of the true animal. After just an hour in an animal's form, your human self would be nearly unsalvageable." I grimace, because I've known a few people who have fallen to that fate. Two from my Anbu division took the forms of squirrels, left to scout the territory, and never returned. Another once turned himself into a dog. He was able to return to his human form, but his mind was completely lost – he lives now in a mental health facility where he spends his time drooling, gnawing on cow bones, and chasing his own rear end.

"Luckily for us," I continue, "We only need the time it takes to get over the wall."

"Not we," Kisame corrects, "Just you."

I lift an eyebrow. "I'm not doing this alone, if that's what you're thinking. Don't think you're worming out of this after you've already committed to the plan."

That's exactly the type of thing Kisame would do; leave me to fend for myself in a place I barely know after I've just assisted in the murder of one of Kiri's jonin.

"Itachi." He admonishes with a smile, "Why on earth would you think that?"

I roll my eyes. "Okay, so if you're not going over the wall, how are you gonna get in?"

"I'm going _through_ it." Kisame announces, and sighing, I cross my arms.

"We've already been over this. Your chakra will be recognized by the wall because you're a missing nin and we'll have ten jonin on us before –"

"But there's where you're wrong." He interrupts, "An animal's chakra leaves a different signature than a human's, and since the wall only detects _human_ chakra, animals are free to come and go as they please."

"Yes," I say, trying not to sound impatient, "But that's not how it works. In the Shapeshifting jutsu, you're not actually turning into the animal, you're not changing your chakra signature - that's impossible – but you're just . . . it's like . . ." I search for the right word, "It's like you're _cloaking_ yourself in that animal's form. But you're still human on the inside . . . at least, until your body actually starts to fuse with theirs."

Kisame shifts his weight in a way that reminds me of a little kid needing to go pee but unable to escape from the predicament in which he has found himself. "I have two forms," he explains, "One is mostly human."

 _Emphasis on the_ mostly, I think to myself.

"And the other is mostly shark." Kisame reaches back to the handle of his enormous sword, beginning to unwrap the bandages. "The shark form requires a fusion with Samehada, and since Samehada is neither man nor beast but something else entirely, a fusion between our different chakra creates a new chakra signature that is not totally human."

I watch in some sort of repulsed fascination as Samehada is unleashed before me for the first time. And I beg to differ when Kisame says that it's neither man nor beast, because it's definitely beast. Blue and spiky, it has a large split near the front which I take to be fashioned in the shape of a mouth, complete with shark teeth just like Kisame's.

Akaime shifts on my shoulder and hisses rather aggressively at the thing, and Samehada's mouth moves, emitting a strange rasping, munching sound in return. I jump a little in surprise.

"It's alive!"

"Of course it's alive." Kisame snickers to see me so astonished, "Anything with chakra is alive, dumbass." With this, he forces open Samehada's jaws as wide as they will go and steps in. It's definitely one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen. Even more bizarre than the time I found Kakashi reading porn on an Anbu mission.

Kisame manages to fit all of his body inside Samehada's mouth, which snaps shut behind him. Then, with a gargling sound, the sword begins to stretch and bulge here and there. I see something like a face emerge, and a long, sinewy tail on the other end.

When the transformation is complete, a true monster stands before me. It doesn't even _look_ like Kisame anymore, apart from the shark-ness. His nose is just a pair of slits, and his shark grin stretches all the way across his face. Fins and webbed fingers and too many gills.

 _A monstrous form is fitting for such a monstrous person_. I remind myself as his unnatural eyes fix on me. Akaime is flustered and hops to my other shoulder, which is further from Kisame.

"Don't you remember what Orochimaru told you? It's rude to stare." His voice is raspy and his words distorted, as though his mouth isn't made for human speech.

"You definitely can't walk into Kiri looking like that." I point out, "You'll give everyone nightmares."

"I'm not going to just walk through." He protests, "There are other ways to get into Kiri unnoticed."

I arch an eyebrow. "Such as?"

He shrugs indifferently. "The main water pipes should be big enough."

"Fine." I concede, "Where should we meet?"

"See that tall red building with the spire? Right behind there."

After confirming a meeting place, I hold out Akaime before me and nip my thumb to draw blood. I smear the blood over his back, matting the feathers together, and he eyes me contemptuously to let me know how rude that was. Then I execute the hand signs and integrate my chakra, focusing on what Akaime looks like. It's the first time I've used this jutsu, and I'm afraid to say I'm more than a little nervous.

The first feeling is that of being squeezed until I think I might explode. Everything grows larger surrounding me, making Kisame look even more like a horrifying predator, which of course only means that I am growing smaller. Then begins a pricking sensation all over my skin, like someone is sticking needles into me. This, I realize, is the sprouting of feathers. My mouth and nose fuse together and for a few startling seconds I can't breathe until my beak is fully formed.

The whole thing happens very quickly, and I find myself a crow on the ground next to Akaime, who is a little bigger than I am.

I hop around so I am facing Kisame, and open my beak to say something intelligent like: "See you on the other side." But all that comes out is the loud caw of a crow. I blink and try again, but I can only make birdlike rasps and warbles. Kisame finds this hilarious and makes a strange coughing noise in his through that is probably a laugh. He holds up his webbed fingers and wriggles them in a mock flirt.

"Toodaloo." He grins, before turning and dashing away to find a way to get into the water network.

I lift my wings, which are heavier than I imagined, and make a takeoff attempt. Instead, I jump into the air and land flat on my beak, sending Akaime a look that even on a crow is decipherable as meek and helpless. He only clicks his tongue and hops in answer.

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A/N: thanks for reading, please review! sorry I haven't updated in a few days; I've been pretty busy :P


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